Why family hasn’t shared who is POA in over 4 years?
One sister dominated mom’s care is extremely angry and resentful. Has sold off all of moms things, and does not report anything to siblings. Now, mom is requiring more care.
My brother is poa, but it's a secret, no one admits it no one talks about it. I'm sure it's because mom is very proud, doesn't want to admit it. And also doesn't want any of us telling my brother when she falls.
Me on the others hand who does , or was doing everything (but got smart) have no power at all
The only power I do have is, to watch over mom, if her dementia gets worse or if she falls, I can bring her to ER, or call ambulance, then my POA brother will have to deal. So it's a waiting game, of me watching over her to see if he sees she needs more help, or needs er care first
Is sister POA? If so, she does not need to inform her siblings in how she carries out her responsibilities. Her POA probably gives her permission to sell. If Mom needs more care, then its up to the POA to hire help on Moms dime or place her. If she has money, place her in a nice AL. If not, in a Longterm care facility with Medicaid paying.
Your sister does not have to physically care for Mom. All she does is handle the money and make sure Moms bills are paid. If Mom needs help, then Sister can hire help out of Moms money.
Is the sister who sold things the POA? If she is, she is not required by law to share your mother's personal assets and financial business with other siblings.
If you are fearful that the current POA is not doing a good job, or does not have the right by law to do as she is doing, then it is time to discuss your suspicions with the POA. Let her know that if she will not share with you proof that sale of assets are being kept record of and deposited to Mom's accounts you will be forced to as APS to investigate her record keeping and open a case for investigation. This may cause your Sister to share her POA papers with you and show you her records and files. If she does not you may attend an elder law attorney if APS will not intervene. The Elder Law attorney can petition a judge to exam the records of the POA.
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Me on the others hand who does , or was doing everything (but got smart) have no power at all
The only power I do have is, to watch over mom, if her dementia gets worse or if she falls, I can bring her to ER, or call ambulance, then my POA brother will have to deal. So it's a waiting game, of me watching over her to see if he sees she needs more help, or needs er care first
Good luck just six
Your sister does not have to physically care for Mom. All she does is handle the money and make sure Moms bills are paid. If Mom needs help, then Sister can hire help out of Moms money.
Howchave you tried to help your Mom?
ADVERTISEMENT
If she is, she is not required by law to share your mother's personal assets and financial business with other siblings.
If you are fearful that the current POA is not doing a good job, or does not have the right by law to do as she is doing, then it is time to discuss your suspicions with the POA. Let her know that if she will not share with you proof that sale of assets are being kept record of and deposited to Mom's accounts you will be forced to as APS to investigate her record keeping and open a case for investigation. This may cause your Sister to share her POA papers with you and show you her records and files. If she does not you may attend an elder law attorney if APS will not intervene. The Elder Law attorney can petition a judge to exam the records of the POA.