How do you deal with a clingy mother?

You're looking for advice on how to deal with your mother being so clingy. Well first the sleeping in bed with her has to stop immediately. Do not do that again. She is an adult. With respect, treat her like one. An adult does not have to be put to bed by a parent every night and told over and over again how much they are loved. If she has dementia and it has reduced her back into being like a toddler, then you may want to consider putting her in a memory care facility.

You sound like a very kind person, but the way you're currently handling your clingy mother is only going to make it worse. Unless this behavior is dealt with and treated properly, the clingyness will turn into a 'shadowing' habit where you will have to be by her side 24 hours a day. If you aren't her anxiety will go atomic and there will be non-stop hysterics and tantrums. So if you enjoy going to the bathroom on your own without someone following you in, get her to a doctor.

She most definitely needs some anti-anxiety medications. She may even need to have sleeping medication prescribed to her. It will help her and it's terrible for a person when they have such anxiety.
Anxiety has to be treated. Sleeping in bed with her and treating her like a scared toddler will not treat her anxiety or help her get to sleep at night. Medication will. Please get her to her doctor.

Also, I hope you're not with her 24 hours a day. If you are then you need to start breaking away for both of your sakes. Bring in homecare and you leave during their hours. Send her to adult daycare so you can have some respite.

Sleeping in the same bed with mom is a no-go. Can you tell us why she is so scared?

There are meds, and she needs them. The best thing is to get her to a doctor and get a prescription to help her. Don't take "no" for an answer when you suggest the doctor visit. It's so important to our current and future health to be able to sleep well. And it's certainly not fair to you to have to sleep in the bed with mom. I mean, NO.

You get her to the doctor immediately to discuss this level of anxiety she's suffering that she requires you to sleep in bed with her! This is crippling anxiety and needs to be treated right away. It's unfair and unnecessary for either of you to be living like this when meds are available to help!

Hi, M. And welcome to the forum.
If you fill out your profile for us we will have a much better idea of what you are dealing with, and will perhaps be able to help you a bit more.
You have listed this under anxiety, but this sort of behavior sounds a bit more like someone with some modicum of dementia, and perhaps someone a bit in the throes of a sleep disorder.
Can you tell us is your Mom:
A) Lives with you
B) Has a diagnosis or symptoms of dementia along with this anxiety disorder?
C) Your mom's age?
D) If this is new behavior? Is there also any shadowing during the day (sort of closely following you?

I'm assuming since you sometimes sleep with your mom that she does live with you. For how long is that the case? Is she on medication for her disorder? Does she have therapy for it?

Sometimes the moving into the same bedroom is a comfort, but certainly a burden on you and can create further dependency.

Really a question for mom's docs and I sure hope you'll update us.
Good luck.

Is your mother not on any medications for her anxiety or to help her sleep? That would be my first go to.
And what happened in her life to make her so fearful to be alone in her own bed?
You don't give us much to go on here, but there is help out there for folks who suffer from irrational fears. I hope your mother is seeking that help.
And if all else fails buy her a dog that will sleep in bed with her, so you don't have to sleep with her.

This must be quite frightening for her. Has her doctor evaluated her for meds to help calm the anxiety? If she’s taking something now, it isn’t working and needs review, if she’s not, it would be a gift to her

Does your mom have dementia? Or other health issues.

If she doesn't have dementia is she using her anxiety to get attention.

Are you her only caregiver?

Maybe you need more help.

Not really enough information other than anxiety. If ya wanna fill us in with more info