I'm asking a question for a friend. Her husband has Alzheimer's and she's really struggling. He's become a little aggressive - it's his way or the highway - and she just doesn't have any time to herself. She can't go out to the shops or even a doctors appointment as he glues himself to her. He won't even stay with his sister for a few hours while she runs errands. The only time she gets a break is when he's sleeping. She can't afford any care and is just exhausted. Is there an article on this that I could send her to help her understand and cope with her situation a little better?
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Caregiving can only be done on caregiver’s terms, which include frequent breaks from it, i.e. respite care.
She needs to talk to few professionals.
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If he becomes either literally or verbally abusive, she needs to call 911 and tell them he is not himself and is being aggressive. She should NOT tell them he has dementia or EMTs may not come at all, since dementia is not considered a medical emergency. But if you call for police help for his aggressiveness, then it may be possible to remove himi from the home for evaluation (Baker Act). At that point she goes to wherever he is and tells them 1) she is not his caregiver and 2) he is an unsafe discharge. She should not believe anyone where he is being held that they "will help her" if she takes him back home. This is a lie they tell in order to get him discharged.
The hope is that he will go into the psych unit where they will hopefully get him on meds for anxiety and aggressiveness. If he improves, she can consider taking him back home.
I was informed by a pamphet in a nursing home that shadowing behaviour was #1 reason someone with dementia is admitted to a nursing home/memory care. Tops even incontinance as so stressfull on the main caregiver.