My mother passed away this morning.

I am so sorry for your loss. My parents are the same age. I know its hard. Take your time. Just go day to day for now. Do something for yourself every day. Go to Starbucks. Watch a favorite TV show. Take a walk around the block and say hello to someone. Get a healthy and delicious meal at a restaurant or Take away. Be easy on yourself. If you feel ready, take a one or two night vacation away, maybe somewhere close where you can drive. Stay in a nice hotel. If your don't feel comfortable, just drive home the next day. Don't overthink it. Just be, be with yourself, every day. If there are friends or family that are willing to help, lean on, engage. If not, its okay. You are not alone. You have done all the hard work. Just be gentle with yourself. It will take a while to heal. There is no timetable or expectation. I read your post and see myself in a few months or maybe, years. You are an inspiration. you are not alone. You can make it through this. The people in my life that are telling me these things are helping me, more than they know. You are stronger than you think. Just keep pushing every day. You will move forward when you are ready. You are free of caregiving. Take some time to breathe. Stay where you are, if its comfortable for you. Even if not where you want to end up. Consider your options, when you are ready. Don't pressure yourself. you have been through a lot. Just take some time. You will see, you have options and horizons ahead. You can do this. You are not alone. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. A big hug.

Start by taking a long nap.

((((hugs)))) to you. So sorry for your loss. It will take a while - one step, one moment, one day at a time to work through your grief and rediscover yourself. When (if) you are ready, grief groups/counselling can be helpful. The work you do now is honouring your mother and the care you gave her. Give it to yourself now.

It takes time to regain yourself. Just take it a day at a time. You will, quicker than you imagine. Remember to celebrate her life and your time together. When my brother died, and it was actually 4 years ago today, I wrote a journal to him, letters of thoughts and memories. Told him things. Decorated it with collage. It was truly helpful to me, and in a bit less than a year I stopped after writing fewer and fewer things. I don't need it now to speak to him, to hear him, to remember all of it.

You have my sincere condolences. What you feel is utterly normal; you have spent years invested almost solely in thoughts of her because you have had to. It has formed things in your mind. Now retrain your mind to walk out and see and experience the rest of this beautiful world waiting.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother.

You’re mourning a significant loss in your life. It will take time for you to process your grief.

Your mother’s spirit will live in your heart forever.

I was thinking about my mother earlier today and posted poems and quotes in the ‘Discussion’ section for everyone on the forum who has lost someone special.

I will share one that I posted earlier today. It’s called, My Mother Kept a Garden.

My Mother kept a garden

A garden of the heart

She planted all the good things

That gave my life its start

She turned me to the sunshine

And encouraged me to dream

Fostering and nurturing

The seeds of self esteem

And when the winds and rain came

She protected me enough

But not too much because she knew

I’d need to stand up strong and tough

Her constant good example

Always taught me right from wrong

Markers for my pathway

That will last a lifetime long

I am my mother’s garden

I am her legacy

And I hope today that she feels the love

Reflected back from me

I'm glad that your mother is now at peace and in time you will be too.
When someone has been a caregiver as long as you have, it will take some time to figure out what your life will look like now. You will wander around for a while wondering what you should be doing, but in time you will figure it out.
Just start taking baby steps in putting yourself first, and eventually you will find that you're living and enjoying your life again.
Your mother would want that much for you, so I wish you well in starting your new life.

I'm sorry for your loss but relieved for both of you. May you receive joy and peace in your heart as you rediscover yourself.

My condolences to you. I so understand "I have put my mother first for so long that I really don't have a life plan for myself" My thoughts exactly after I lost my mom 9 yrs. ago.

Take your time. You've just lost her and need to grieve still. If you are anything like me you'll need to start thinking differently. It's strange when you don't have that other person to consider before you make plans. But you will get there. Don't expect it to happen overnight.

Take care.

When your grief subsides, I suggest you pick up a copy of the book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, by David Kessler, available on Amazon.

In this groundbreaking and “poignant” (Los Angeles Times) book, David Kessler — praised for his work by Maria Shriver, Marianne Williamson, and Mother Teresa — journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning.

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom gained through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage: meaning.

Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his 21-year-old son.

How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth stage of grief - meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss.

My condolences on the loss of your dear mom. May God guide you towards peace, acceptance and eventually finding a new life for yourself down the road.

It hasn't been a full day yet, give yourself time to grieve and settle into your new reality before you worry about next steps.
I'm sorry for your loss.