Response for unreasonable behavior with hallucinations.

Geaton mentioned it - its the Raz mobility phone that you can limit calls and times on it

Hi Mammacow,

your dad sounds like mine in many ways. He is not as advanced in dementia, but certainly angry and argumentative. At one point I was going to cut off his long distance due to calling people inappropriately all the time, but then he said he would "sue me for taking away his freedom" and started complaining to family that I was trying to silence him etc, so I did not cut it off. sigh.

I understand the desire to have a cell phone as "everyone else has one around here". I tried to transition to a landline but that did not work.

I'm not sure if it is possible on his cellphone, but perhaps it could be locked out so he cannot call anyone for certain hours of the day? So he can only get through to people at certain reasonable times? He may complain that calls dont go out at other times, you could just shrug and say " hmmmm. interesting".

the other alternative is to do it on your end - set you phone so it blocks him at times that are unreasonable. that may be workable. Or even further, get a seperate phone number / phone for him to call, and only have that on when its convenient to take calls from him

or....take away phone as others have suggested

Keep him in the nursing home! sounds like thats the best place for him and anywhere else wont go well. If he gets well physically, then maybe a memory care place.

You can’t come right now because the car is broken .

You can’t come right now because you are sick .

No one can go out during the tornado warning .

It’s snowing or the roads are icey ( if you get snow in winter ) .

There is flooding from the storm , can’t get there.

It’s late go to bed .

The staff will take care of it.

Don’t answer all the calls let it go to voicemail . Does he really need to have a phone ? Can you take it away ?

Take his phone away. Make it disappear!
Let the NH know you cannot tolerate the constant calls and verbal abuse.
He may need some calming meds for his hallucinations.

The NH will call you directly if a real emergency.

You have power here. Turn off your phone at night, take his phone away or tell him you will be on your way after you run errands first and then don’t go.

It's time now to remove the phone. Is this ALF, MC or NH? Because ordinarily the phone would be a thing of the past now, with calls placed to him or from him once daily according to care plan. He is seeing you as the savior. You are not that any more. Sorry, Mamacow, but with this inability to use the phone correctly the priviledge is gone. He isn't capable any more of handling calls. This happened automatically with my bro with his Lewy's shortly before he died as he would not hear suddenly and the phone just be gone. Calls were managed. Happened long before my bro with his ex and friend, who had alcoholic encephalopathy.

Their brains are broken. They can no longer manage phones correctly.
I am so sorry. Another loss for him and for you.
In case he IS able to manage along with you two NOT ANSWERING his calls other than one in morning and one at night briefly, try and tell him you will try management, but not answering, and if this continues the phone privileges will be gone.

Is he on meds for his Lewy Body dementia? If not, why not? If he's not, this is the first solution.

Then block his calls after hours, or let them go directly to voicemail. The NH will contact you if there's an emergency.

You don't have to argue, agree or convince him of anything. Only accept 1 call from him a day (if even that). You can tell him, "Ok, we'll deal with it." and hang up. Or, "The staff says they will help you." (hang up)

You can't reason with him at all so why spend energy on it -- it just gets you down and him worked up. Save your energy for your own self care. So sorry you're having to deal with this.