My MIL recently had to move into our home due to the fact that she can’t take proper care of herself. She forgets to shower, eat, etc. and she is a diabetic. She has a yorkie that is her absolute best friend, but she fails to let the dog out during the day or at all. Another one of the reasons why she had to move in with us is because her house was covered with dog feces and fleas. The dog is not house trained and is about 4 years old. When we scold the dog for using the bathroom in the house, she gets angry with us and says “he’s just a puppy,” but he’s not. If you take the dog outside he will use the bathroom outside, but me and my husband are both at work from 8am-7pm most days. If me or my husband let the dog outside she becomes frantic. She is constantly holding the dog so we won’t let him outside. He uses the bathroom in the house and of course on the rugs if not the hardwood floor because she fails to take him outside. When he does use the bathroom inside, she picks it up with a paper towel and never uses any actual cleaning products to clean the floor where he used the bathroom at. I know if we were to take him away from her she would be very upset/depressed but we are coming to our wits end. I’m not such what other options we have. She doesn’t remember a lot of things, but she remembers the dog and when he is not near her, she starts looking for him franticly and calling his name. Any suggestions??
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Doggie diapers. On when you leave, off when you return.
Your senior has some dementia. Clearly you know that and posted this under it.
Take her dog from her and you have essentially taken that single last thing she has to lose.
She already LOST her mind.
There is likely nothing so divisive on AgingCare as a discussion of our pets and I would say that is reflected on any social media. That is because the pet lovers among us are nuts; (I am one and am not so unwise at 81/83 respectively to get another pet to burden our kids when we crump, but AM still keeping my hand in with fostering; Her name is Frieda; want to adopt?)
To be honest, our pets, for those who love them have been the single thing to keep us sane from age 3 to 103. They are non judgemental beings we can cuddle, who will love us no matter WHAT we have done that is not lovable. They don't care. They simple attach themselves to us like a parasite (or WE TO THEM?).
To deprive a senior nearing end of life, of a pet, is often unavoidable.
It is, however, to my mind at least, a worse blow than the final loss of our minds. We SEE that coming. We know even when you think we don't. But if we can just snuggle down with that pet to listen to a podcast, to drift off, then there is at least that one good moment.
Don't think for a second I don't sympathize with the fact you have an incontinent pet. But I do think that Becky's idea is the one to try, last ditch effort. I remember my mother's last days. When she could no longer muster up the courage to be brave before us any longer. When it was all lost and she snapped even at me "Stop treating me like a NURSE" (I was one then). ONLY the soft fur of a visiting bunny at the care home.....................only that, her one finger moving through its fur. Only that, her last connection with every animal (of the 100s?) she had rescued, saved and loved....only THAT brought a smile to her face.
I suspect, for me, it will be the same. Let my finger trail through that fur. There is nothing of rational thinking in all of this. As you have observed, lordy, it's a mess.
I am just saying..................Put soil into my hands from my garden. Or let me trail my finger throug the fur of a pet. At the end.
A yorkie can easily be paper trained on a wee-wee pad if they need to go to the bathroom inside. (you can order wee-wee pads on Amazon or any pet supply store). You can place the pad in an area of your choice and I'm sure there are youtube videos to provide steps on how to teach the dog. And you should always be praising the yorkie when they learn each time to use the pad...positive reinforcement. Yorkies love praise. But, that's not in replacement of walking the yorkie...and you've gotten GREAT advice from so many dog lovers on this post - regarding the caregiver walking the dog as a regular routine (ideally every 4 hours) - or hire a dog walker ...this will help to create a routine for the yorkie. That's very important.
It's upsetting to hear how much pressure you're placing on this dog, without any training...would you expect the same from a baby?
The yorkie is still young enough to break old habits and become trained...they're very smart - and they love doing the right thing, and they're actually the easiest, most precious little dogs...the key is "routine and a proper schedule."
Wishing you all the very best ~
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The dog, I would not even have brought him to my house under these circumstances. Years ago I obtained a poodle a woman was abusing because he did his business in the house. I was told by a neighbor its because the owner never let him out when he needed to go. We had no problem with him. As soon as he started sniffing around, out he went. He got the idea. But, my Mom was home all day.
If you are leaving Mom alone, you may consider an aide while you work. One of her duties would be the dog. Maybe it can be retrained. I have also read that small dogs can be trained to a litter box.
Since you and your husband work who is staying with mom while you are gone? You can't leave her alone...you brought her into your house because it was not safe for her to be alone in her house.
You have to hire caregiver that will care for mom while you are gone and the caregiver also cares for the dog.
OR
Mom is moved to Memory Care and someone is hired to care for the dog. The dog CAN be trained.
Or the dog is rehomed. But this option would probably send m om in a rapid decline.
They both work. They can’t stay with her.
Hopefully, they have hired caregivers to be with her.
Your mom shouldn't be staying home alone at all. She should have caregivers, and in that case, they'd let the dog out.
Check the internet for artificial potty grass. There's a number of different brand names, designs, and sizes.
If a doggy door is possible, consider that but it's going to have to be trained to use it.