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mammacow Asked June 21, 2024

My husband is in a nursing facility and has become VERY agitated this week. What can be done to calm him? Talking doesn't work.

This week he has been VERY agitated, and it has escalated to him being verbally abusive towards me, my son and the aides who care for him. He can be very charming but now he is just ugly. I had a medical procedure done; my son went to see him yesterday since I couldn't go. He was yelling that there was S--- in his bed, he wasn't getting in it although it was freshly made. My son even laid on the bed to show it was ok, to which my father then claimed my son had feces on him.


 


He was in the hall outside his room screaming and cussing, told our son he was worthless, get the F out and don't come back. He had an MRI recently and it showed additional problems in his frontal temporal area which I think may have something to do with this behavior. Son apologized to staff and his roommate (double room, he's on hospice). I hope they don't throw him out but I'm wondering if there is something they could give him to calm him. His diagnosis is ALZ with Lewy body tendency (he fits all the boxes for Lewy body. Hopefully this is just one of his bad downturns and he will calm some once it passes. He's been fretting & fussing about 1 1/2 weeks, but this was the worst he's been ever. I've read about the frontal temporal symptoms but am wondering if anyone has dealt with this and if it could be helped by meds or just let it be and hope for the best. Son was told to get and don't come back; this is his favorite go to phrase if something doesn't go his way. Talks to me that way, just never at the NF. Any input or suggestions would be appreciated.

Babs2013 Jun 27, 2024
My BIL is like that in his memory care so they have anxiety meds on hand for him when he gets that way. And the nurses can give them to him. I would contact his doctor to see if they can order his some of these medications so that if he is this way they can calm him down.

Prayers

Anxietynacy Jun 26, 2024
I'm really sorry for what your going through,y dad was very angry and upset towards the end also. I don't have any suggestions other than what has been said. Just wanted to drop in and say my thoughts are with you 🙏🙂‍↕️

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cover9339 Jun 26, 2024
Maybe he's just fed up with the place
Anxietynacy Jun 26, 2024
That's really not helpful, the family is worried and trying there best in a horrible situation.

He is also on hospice , the family doesn't need more hurt ,
Sample Jun 26, 2024
Drugs

Llamalover47 Jun 26, 2024
mammacow: Ask hospice to prescribe anti anxiety medications.

Scooter2023 Jun 26, 2024
Staff can contact the Medical Director of nursing home.
Let the Social Worker or Director of Nursing know that you need your relative to be seen by the Medical Director, they will schedule.

JoAnn29 Jun 22, 2024
If he is on Hospice then there are anxiety meds he should be given. Anxiety is not good for him. The NH placed Mom on meds when her anxiety got bad. The pills did seem to calm Mom alot. My DD an RN, said it like guality over guantity. We found though it was the beginning of the dying process so Hospice was called in.

AlvaDeer Jun 21, 2024
Lean on the doctors caring for him.
He will now need medicating so he can be cared for and kept safe.
While this is happening STAY AWAY. In his confusion he sees you as the cause of this and the way out of this. That isn't the case. And your being there is causing further confusion.

Tell the caregivers at the facility to call his MD or you do so (or whomever is his POA). Let them tell the doc the severity of the situation. If he needs transport to inpatient hospital have his Nursing Facility send him there. If this facility says they cannot care for him in this facility then he will have to be moved, but that is out of your control and I doubt you could arrange it. This is the realm of facility-to-facility social care and medical team.

There is nothing here that you or your son can do. Teach him that his agitation when/if he sees you will result in your IMMEDIATELY leaving.
So sorry mamma.

funkygrandma59 Jun 21, 2024
Sounds like he's hallucinating with his Lewy Body dementia. Time to have hospice give him something for his hallucinations and to calm him.
Hospice is there to help you so please make sure that they're doing just that.

LoopyLoo Jun 21, 2024
Definitely time for meds. This agitation is no fun for him either!

BlueEyedGirl94 Jun 21, 2024
The behavior needs to be reported to the nurses and ask them if the doctor can assess and prescribe something to help keep him calm. There are a number of options and his doctor there would be able to look at other medications he is on, his co-morbidities and find something that would work within his needs.

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