My grandma is 90, has no chronic illness but stopped eating 8 days ago.

Leave her be. Her body is deciding it’s had enough.

My 95 yo mother stopped eating three weeks ago. She had CHF and the disease caused fluid build up in her abdomen. She was miserable and feeling lousy all the time and unable to walk and had arthritis. She gave up because she knew there was nothing left to fight for. Her body could not be fixed. She died peacefully last Thursday.

No, just no. Your grandma has had a long life and the chances of her regaining a good after a stroke are small, let her go. I'm sorry.

Please no feeding tube.
If she has had a brain hemorrhage have the doctors determined how much damage has been done?
Is she conscious?
Is she cognizant?
Has she ever expressed what her wishes are for her end of life decisions?

If it were me deciding for a loved one I would NOT do a feeding tube, I would not do intubation. And I would not do IV's strictly for hydration. (administrating medications is another thing but I would have to think about why.)

At this point I would opt for Hospice.

The feeding tube in itself isn’t necessarily harmful. But having had my mother have one for four miserable years, the feeding tube was the least of the issues. Her tube was placed following a brain bleed or hemorrhagic stroke when our family was surrounded by a small army of neurologists telling us it would be temporary while she recovered. And that her recovery was imminent with some therapy. Much valiant effort was made by her and the therapists, but no recovery came. So the issue became, how do you pull out the source of nutrition for an awake and mentally intact person? No one is willing to do such. A wonderful lady lives unable to do anything for herself, and over time loses even more skills. The small army of confident doctors long ago disappeared while my dad figured out nursing home payments and eventually Medicaid. My mother was in her early 70’s, for someone who is 90 I’d certainly hope for a far more peaceful exit from this life. I wish you both peace

She’s 90. She’s had a good life. Why make her life miserable with a feeding tube?

If my grandson was ever in your spot, I would want him to let me go to The Lord in PEACE.

Let Grandma go. 🩷

Often when people get old, they cease to eat, one reason being that their different systems are shutting down-and eating is actually painful.

My MIL lasted the last year of her life on >300-400calories per day. We were told she would die within a month of beginning to starve herself. She lasted a year.

BUT--the option to put in a feeding tube was never discussed. She had made her EOL choices, and this was one of them.

A feeding tube can cause bloating, gas, and a lot of gastro issues.

Grandma is 90. Perhaps it's time to bring in Hospice Care.

FWIW, I'm 87 and a feeding tube would be a hard NO for me! I've stated as much in my healthcare directive and personal letter.

We should all be so lucky to live a good long life with no chronic illness and then have a quickish exit if possible.

Please do not rob your grandmother of this. Have hospice keep her comfortable.

I used to work in nursing homes many many years ago when feeding tubes were common in these cases . It was a miserable existence for these poor people, that could last years .

I’m sorry . I hope your aunt can let go .

Eli,

I am sorry for the loss of your parents.

I have to agree with everyone else. No feeding tube for your grandma.

It’s normal for appetites to diminish as people approach the end of their lives.

Wishing you peace as you anticipate the loss of your grandmother.

I am an old nurse, 81. I have long had it in my advance directive that I will accept no feeding tube, NG or PEG and no IV TPN feedings. Had it there for two decades. I am surprised your grandmother didn't make her wishes regarding end of life care clear. I am even more surprised that any doctor would suggest a feeding tube for someone 90. with a brain hemorrhage.

I am sorry if this is the case to be done to your grandmother. In all honesty I think it exceptionally cruel. I would request hospice if the decision is yours and your grandmother cannot make it for herself.

Sorry for what you are going through. No matter how many tubes you put down your grandmother is likely dying. With Hospice she can be made comfortable. With tube feedings she will likely have severe diarrhea and bed sores and a prolonging of her misery.

Again, I as a retired RN find this quite shocking for a doctor to suggest. Back in my time it was a profit thing, but there's no profit in it now with DRGs paying for hospital care. So I cannot imagine a doctor wanting to put an elder through this.