So my 85 year old grandfather can no longer walk - he spends all day either in bed, or is moved to a chair.
His caregivers (his 85 year old wife and 60 year old daughter) are becoming increasingly desperate and stressed dealing with him. He takes water tablets and also has a prostate issue so is FREQUENTLY needing to urinate - he feels the urge to go at least once an hour.
They used to make him wear adult diapers/nappies/pads and would clean him up after but due to how frequently he needs to go, they stopped this.
His current routine is as follows:
1. He shouts that he needs to 'go'
2. He pulls down his diaper/nappy
3. His wife (my grandfather) fetches a bottle, he places 'himself' inside the bottle and urinates
That's what's meant to happen.
However, as he is always sitting when he does this (he cannot stand up to urinate), most of the time his urine ends up spraying upwards, as he has difficulty "aiming". This means he nearly always ends up urinating over himself and on the chair under him and again needs cleaning up.
They have tried different bottles with different shaped openings, no luck.
How can they fix this?
How can he urinate whilst sitting down without causing a mess/spilling/spraying urine? Is there a particular device or a bottle with a better design he could use.
Please do not suggest catheters or similar as this is not feasible for them.
Thanks
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Even an anti strip suit may not be easy for an 85 and 60 year old to manage with a bedridden person .
Grandpa is calling the shots here . This has to change . The caregivers call the shots now so they don’t end up exhausted and in the hospital themselves . Grandpa needs to wear nappies again .
And if he pees a little at a time it will pull the moisture away . Just like a babies diaper . It may not be necessary to change it every hour or after just one small pee .
Perhaps grandpa is not able to understand that this is killing his wife and daughter , dementia ???
Either way , his stubbornness is an issue .
When an elderly is uncooperative with family and thinks they are the boss , then they need to be taken care of by “ non family “. I suggest that you strongly encourage placement for grandpa before one or both of these women collapse .
Either that or place him in managed care where he'll be fitted with a disposable brief. Nobody is going to come running every hour to help grandpa urinate in a bottle where he sprays urine everywhere, it's unrealistic and unfair to caregivers everywhere.
Part of old age and infirmity is recognizing and accepting our limitations w/o insisting others sacrifice their lives to accommodate our wishes.
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A Texas catheter goes on like a condom . This could work for them all .
It is literally a condom , the end of it is connected to tubing and a urine collection bag . No pain , nothing internal . Very easy to use .
He can pee normally when he needs too, whether he is in bed or chair .
Essentially it is the same as your bottle method but without the mess .
It can be left on for periods of time as well , to avoid on and off and accidents .
He no longer gets to call the "shots" (sorry for the pun).
Disposable briefs + anti-strip jumpsuit (silverts.com)
He will get adjust to going into the brief. He's heading in that direction no matter what, even in a facility. No one is going to attend to him every hour on the hour. And you shouldn't, either.
My mother used to say “ We leave this world the same way we start out , Bald , no teeth and in diapers “ .
I doubt this would work though because grandpa pulls off his diaper and yells for the bottle. I suspect he would pull off colostomy type bag as well . He probably won’t understand while the bag has adhesive and sticks on his skin.
But thought I would mention it for someone else who has a relative who may understand and could use this .
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