How do we provide a valid ID if our mother is in a nursing home unable to walk or talk?

Wouldn't Social Security accept an old driver's license? My parents used their expired license for just about everything where they needed to show ID.

We ordered a social security card online

Social security will send another card.
we ordered online

Contact your elected representatives. Your senators' offices have staff that helps constituents with problems just like this.

Have you checked to see if your state has the service where the BMV rep will come out and do the ID card where mom is at?

They would require you to fill out a form and have her doctor fill out a form as well showing need for this service

Good suggestions have been provided. In the event that you are still having problems, I would park myself at the DMV, explain to them in detail the "circular" problem you are having (can't get A without B, can't get B without C, can't get C without A, and you do not have A, B, or C) and do not leave until they provide you with an actual solution. The ball is in their court, not yours. Do not walk out without a DMV-authorized solution.

I don’t have any specific experience here, but as I was curious, looked up what “ID” social Security on their website requires to issue a replacement card to an adult—who knows his or her number, is a citizen, and who has a mailing address in the US.

The Social Security website states any ONE of:

-US drivers license or other state ID (which I know you don’t have),
- a US passport (is this available)?
-Health insurance or Medicaid card (I know she doesn’t have a Medicaid card, but any other health insurance card? Has to have a photograph OR age OR date of birth.)
-medical record from a clinic, doctor, or hospital within the last two years. Has she seen a doctor or been to the hospital?
-A certificate of naturalization or citizenship.

I expect you’ve tried this, but perhaps the prior health insurance card, or medical record might be doable.

It looks like the replacement-card form can even be mailed in (vs bringing to the SS office), but that means she wouldn’t have to show up in person – and so you might be able to bring the forms yourself to the SS office and that you can talk to the Social Security people to make sure you have what they need.

(Edit: the list of documents above was provided after clicking through a few questions. The replacement/new card form itself, the SS-5, says in bold that you need a state ID or passport, but then under it says “If you don’t have these or can’t get them in 10 days, we may also take….” And lists the other options. )

If she has a valid Passport, that is your best ID.

North Carolina will take official letters from SSA, such as the annual statement, that shows the full SSN in lieu of a SS card.

Contact your Sec. Of State, they issue Drivers Licenses and State ID's. Quite often they will have events where they will come to a facility and do ID's for people that reside there that can not get out.
There are other forms of proof that the DMV should take.
Mail a letter to her. That should be proof of address.
A Bill from Medicare, or letter from Medicare with her name and address.
If there is an old ID that has her photo, and other info on it that might also help.
If they do not do that they may have an option for you.

Here's what's needed in my state of MN Real ID:

- One document proving identity, date of birth and legal presence in the United States.
- Know your​ social security number.
- Two different documents proving current residency in Minnesota.

Does she really have to come up with an actual SS card? Not just the number? Or does no one know her number?