I can't take this pain any longer.

So this morning I woke up feeling like everything was going to be okay but it ended up horrible I was just folding my clothes because yesterday we went washing and my mom started complaining as usual about how her house wasn't clean and stuff so me and my older sister started cleaning up when my mom noticed I was wearing a headband and she started yelling at me because my hair was a mess and she noticed at chunk of my hair was missing and started blaming me for not taking care of my hair and then she was saying I don't deserve anything special and she cancelled my hair and nail appointment for back to school and she took away my phone and said F you b tears rolled down my eyes as she said this directly to my face I feel horrible and I want to run away but I'm just 14 and I have nowhere to go since my dad lives in Vegas with a woman I don't like and she also has daughters who grew up with me and now that their older they act like they don't like me or something anyway I'm still just a kid and my mom is basically ruining my life so now I have to go to school looking a mess and I starting high school my mom was saying that I can't do anything fun I can't hang out with my friends outside of school Im really starting to hate her and I wish she'll get better or else I'm going to live with my grandpa I also remember a time when my mom was saying she wanted to put me up for adoption when I was 8 she said she wanted a child who actually listens and that day I wanted to kill myself so I could feel important so I poured bleach in a cup and decided to drink it but she caught me in the act and was saying she didn't want to lose me and got on her knees and cried in front of me I do love my mom very much and we always have fun together but today I saw the evil side of her and I don't like it at all.