My father has it in his head that I should be president of the U.S. Folks, I have no desire, thank you very much! I have tried different tactics to deal with this. He pouts when I tell him no. If I tell him ok, well that is bad too.
He has been after me for 2 + yrs and it is getting real old. He really got in my face today about it to make sure I heard him. Following me around so much so that I can't get things done. He then wanted to know when we were moving to D.C. This goes on and on.
Awhile back he had his suitcase packed and told me they were coming to pick us up....I have agreed and disagreed, explained etc. He has dementia, so doesn't remember past conversations.
Anyone else have issues such as this?
It sounds like your dad also has consistent and mostly happy delusions, newtonjoyce, with the added twist that they involve not his own high station in life, but yours! Like my friends at the support group, it is the caregiver who has some distress over the delusions.
My husband had delusions, but they did not continue from one episode to the next. Each one was self-contained. And he also had hallucinations, but not generally both together, like the dad who believed he owned the land outside his window and also saw construction on it.
Does your dad have any hallucinations to support his delusions? I find this a fascinating subject.
But, what to do? That is really the issue, isn't it?
Can you participate is his world a little (short of buying tckets to DC)? "Dad, I have to finish what I'm doing right now. At 4:00 let's sit down and make a list of the most important issues I should talk about in my campaign." "I can't pack now, because I don't think I have the right wardrobe. What kind of clothes do you think the president of the United States should wear?" Bringing up the money factor, as ladeeda suggests, is another approach. Or, "Dad, lets put some dance music on and practice for the balls I'll be attending. Can you pick out a good CD for that while I get these clothes in the washer?" Can Dad still write? Maybe you could ask him to write you a campaign speech. That ought to keep him busy for a while and give you something to talk about later.
I sure don't know -- have not have to deal with this personally -- but I'm thinking if you can enter his world a little that you can (maybe) lead him into reality. If you practice dancing for the inaugral ball, you could talk about whether he and your mother danced much and that can lead to talking about real memories instead of delusions. If you start out talking about what kind of wardrobe a president needs, maybe you can ask him if he remembers that outrageous dress you wore to senior prom. Or if he can remember something pretty that your mother wore. I think you get the idea. Start from where he is and redirect him to a real memory, or a real current topic.
And frequent hugs sure can't hurt!
You might also ask him how he plans to finace your presidential bid and campaign... it takes ALOT of money dad, how we gonna do that???? It can be exhausting to have them following you around, getting into things, but as someone said, sometimes a hug or a chore helps... can he wash the veggys for you????? Even if he makes a mess, it will keep his hands busy... women are easier to redirect, so many things they can do that are "normal" to them, men, a different story. If anyone has any other ideas I would love to hear them... hugs to everyone, caregiving is not for sissy's...