I need to travel to another state to support my child while her husband is dying of cancer (and attend funeral eventually). My husband is total care - 2 massive strokes with rt. body weakness, Parkinson's Disease also. I cannot travel with my husband. How do I find someone reliable to stay with him for a couple of weeks? I would prefer not to use a care agency for caregiver during 2 wks. Any suggestions?
You can inquire with the staff at the local senior center and any social worker available, Parkinson’s or stroke support group, etc. available to you for suggestions, but you are going to have to get very lucky and have a lot of faith that it will work out and that you will be able to return on schedule.
You can probably find an agency that could handle the job, but I agree with others here that respite care is the obvious solution. It’s the service that is meant to provide the short term replacement care that you are seeking.
You could start by making some phone calls to check on availability and price range.
I wish you and your family well in navigating this difficult time.
Facilities offer something called "respite care" for the patient. The intention is to care for the patient while the caregiver takes a vacation.
Check a few in your area. Do a tour just as if you were going to place him there.
(many facilities do Respite with the hope that you may decide to keep that placement permanent.)
If he is not on Hospice then the Respite stay will be out of pocket expense. (But do check insurance and if he has Long Term Care insurance check that)
If he is on Hospice then Respite of about 1 week is paid for by Medicare and other insurances that cover Hospice.
(if he is not on Hospice it might be worth a call at some point to see if he would be eligible. There are many advantages to Hospice)
If an informal arrangement did work out it would be more by luck than judgement. This is an occasion when you need to call on experienced people with guaranteed credentials.
If you have any church association, you could ask there if anyone available for hire is known to the church community. Senior Services and public agencies would be another source of referrals, but I would not count on nor expect the best help from those sources.
If it were my LO, I would felt safest in putting him in a facility for Respite Care.
It is good of you to want to support your child (child?--I'm a little confused about who is dying in this post--where is the SIL part of this story?), but if you cannot provide alternate care for your husband, you won't be able to make the trip.