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Sometimes it isn't what you say but how you say it that our elderly loved ones respond to. If Mom is a worrier and you don't want to deal with her fears right now, don't tell her. If you feel that she won't get worked up and want her to know or want to be able to tell her if/why your schedule of visits changes, then do that. Don't discuss, just inform as if all is as expected. If you are too anxious/exhausted to deal with talking, don't. If/when Mom asks where you've been, just say "routine medical stuff, you know, age stuff." Smile, repeat as needed.
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Reply to DrBenshir
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I personally would not do this. It will just upset her when you tell her and then she’ll forget anyway, so what’s the point of putting her through that?
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Reply to LakeErie
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Cowdiva Sep 28, 2024
I went through breast cancer last year. My mom is in a home with dementia. I talked with the staff who love her and I decided it was best not to tell her. She would be upset for me. Then she would forget and remember all over again when she saw me and be upset all over again. When I lost my hair she asked why my hair was so short. I told it was some meds I was taking for my thyroid. Which wasn't a lie, I did have thyroid surgery at the same time. I didn't get to visit her as much during chemo and radiation but staff assured me she wouldn't remember and she was always glad to see me. I'm doing great and had a great support system. And my mom is happy.
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I am a breast cancer survivor, and I would like to give you some advice but it depends on what your condition is and to what extent your surgery is.. The best advice I can give you is follow your doctor's advice and do your physical therapy. I understand how scared you can be, If you need to talk please message me and I will give you my phone number. I am having a hard time writing because I had a stroke. You will regain strength in your arm if you just follow the exercises you are given, then you can do all those things for your mother.
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Reply to MaryKathleen
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I wouldn’t burden her with that info . She might not even have a response to it and she may not even remember you telling her anyways .
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Reply to Trixipie
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