Any solutions for fecal incontinence?
My mother on 24/7 oxygen, but loves her home,cats,books. In last 6 months her incontinence is so severe I cannot keep up. Nurses will come once or twice, then resign because of "feces on the floor." She is 85 years old. Twice she has been placed in very nice Assisted Living places, only to return home after hundreds of calls to daughters, friends that she will commit suicide, etc. I have hired a home cleaning service with heavy equipment for floors, but my sister - an RN - insists she must go back to assisted living. Sometimes she will wear heavy duty Depends, sometimes she forgets or chooses not to. The worst part is the devastating affect of this incontinence psychologically. Do I keep her home or put her back in Assisted Living where she descends into depression?
If she just has accidents from time to time, that's probably why she does without the diaper sometimes - might be uncomfortable and thinks today things will go okay. If there is no memory issue, then you need to have a talk w/her. Has to wear the diaper 24/7 now or move to a facility where they can help her. -- The only thing about this is: imagine having a mess in the diaper; will she be able to get it off by herself and get her entire bottom clean?
If this is the only issue remaining in the home, see if you can get some care givers to go several times a day. You might be able to find a couple of people to spend a good part of the day with her versus going to facility. Maybe 7am (or her wake up time) to 11 for one person. 3-7 or 4-8 for the second shift. First shift does am diaper change and breakfast - ck diaper before leaving. Prepare lunch and exit. PM shift can do a mid day diaper check, a little housework, prepare supper, put on the nighttime diaper and exit. She may very well need full time care in the daytime. . .maybe night, too. You would be a better judge of her overall needs.
Does your mother lack control over her bowels or is she unable to clean herself after having a bowel movement?
He used the trash can, the corner, couches and chairs....anything but the toilet. It was awful.
We had to purchase bed alarms and cameras and place obstacles to protect furniture and spots between furniture and walls.
We took away the bedside toilet and he used the regular toilet.
Dispite our attempts to explain, apparently he could not recognize the setup as a toilet .... especially during the night.
I would check with her doctor to diagnose the cause of the increased fecal incontinence. BUT if it is incontinence that is part of the decline. Bladder incontinence usually comes first then fecal incontinence.
If you wish to care for her at home just realize this is part of the process (unless there is a physical, medical reason) and YOU will have to make sure she uses incontinence products. And YOU will have to get her to the bathroom about every 2 hours (standard) and change her and clean her if necessary.
If this is not something you want to "sign up" for then place her in Memory Care NOT Assisted Living. This is no longer a choice she can make, she can no longer make competent decisions for herself.
Regarding suicide threats, although it may be just for effect (to get back to her home) or it may be unlikely to happen, I understand your concern. A dementia patient at a local residence got ahold of cleaning supplies and drank them causing her death. I agree with the other person here who suggested the assistance of a psychiatric practitioner who may be able to provide something that would be helpful.
I wish I had better advice for you. Sometimes there is no good solution — only the best one you can make at the time.
For the other problem. I cut out Moms coffee and apple juice. Taking them to the toilet every couple of hours. Finding the time she usually goes so she can be placed on the toilet. And what kind of aides (I doubt you r hiring LPNs or RNs) can't deal with cleaning up feces?
You keep mom home and deal with what is not only a nasty, smelly, unsanitary condition, or move her back into a facility that can have eyes on the situation 24/7, thus allowing hopefully, for a better management of the problems.
Is mom AWARE she's making messes? Or is she just out of it, enough that it doesn't bother her? If it doesn't bother her, that's a sign that she's really not capable of making decisions of a most basic nature.
She's using the suicide threat to scare you all and it's working. Mother did it for years and years...until it totally lost its sting.
The unsanitary conditions of feces on the floor is a deal breaker for a LOT of in home aides.
You said the psychological aspects are the worse part of this--is she aware of the incontinence or is it you and Sis who are being affected?
I hate to say this--but fecal matter is all but impossible to totally remove from carpet. If you are all-hardwood/linoleum/tile you can get pretty sanitized--but how many days a week are we talking here? Everyday? 3 times? You and sis are the ones who are really suffering here. The fact that mom is CHOOSING or forgetting to wear the Depends makes me think she is unaware of the possible outcome.
I'm maybe going to be in the small group of people who would find this a deal breaker for mom to continue to live 'independently'.
Maybe you can find a NH that allows her to have one of her cats and of course, she can have her books.
If Mum is having diarrhea, have you looked into dietary or medication triggers? If she has regular stools, but no control over her bowels, then she must wear depends. If she is to the point where she forgets to wear them, then someone needs to be with her to ensure she dresses appropriately.
If Mum is relieving herself wherever she happens to be, ie drops her drawers and poops, then that is a strong indication that she needs 24/7 care.
You have not mentioned how long Mum was in the AL before the family caved to her demands. Remember she is demented, she is not capable of making rational choices.
How was she going to commit suicide? I know her making those statements is traumatic for you, but in reality could she follow through? I cannot remember which poster here said her parent threatened to jump out their window, they lived on the ground floor.
If she is at “suicide risk” (mine was), a psychiatric assessment is ESSENTIAL. Our AL has a psychiatric specialist on call, and just yesterday I attached a note to a co-pay bill, telling her how much I appreciate her ongoing help.
When she entered my LO was on 24 hour escape watch. She had been depressed at home, and of course continued to be. The psychiatrist had a conference with me and together we decided to try small amounts of antidepressants and anti anxiety meds (introduced slowly, NOT all at once) but with time, my LO once again became her lovable cranky self, and adjusted much more comfortably to her surroundings.
Your sister is right. Seek out the best in ALs, be sure they have access to psychiatric care, then let the staff address her care. Hug her, tell her you’ll visit frequently, then LEAVE. I was willing to take calls, but only answered every other day or so.
MUCH HARDER for family than for our LO, but much MUCH BETTER FOR HER than what had happened before she entered. Hugs for all of you. STAY STRONG.