the inheritance? Perhaps this is because of their low character (refusing to help) yet very interested in the money. They have very strong feelings about not helping/visiting with their aging parents, yet paradoxically, they have very strong feelings about the inheritance. I've read posts that sibling(s) are never around to help; trust me they will be back when there is money involved.
If the siblings are helping with the senior parents and sharing responsibilities, it's a a great thing and I would consider myself blessed. I'm not sure if the thought just doesn't enter their mind or if it enters their mind and they push it out. lol Either way, I don't count on it. If it happens fine, but, I've learned to just depend on myself and I then handle it, delegate it to a responsible person or pay to have it done. No waiting on others. lol
I will say that adult kids shouldn't have to revolve their lives around the care of an ailing senior parent. That's not fair, nor do I expect that, but an occasional thing would nice.
A) as an enabler, she created the situation where a 53 year old man has never worked and cannot do anything for himself
B) I didn't get it when I was younger but now realize that she instigated the sibling rivalry which has not morphed into hatred. She set us up against each other our whole lives.
C) the last time she planned on rewriting her will her intentions were to change it from an even 25% split to "I'm going to give the two boys the bigger house and give you and John the small one since they need it more". I never helped her pursue changing it so, than heaven, the old will stands.
Yes, we do take a monthly stipend to cover our increased costs (utilities, food) and I do use her money to pay my kids when they stay home and take care of her when we go out. I also use her money for the expensive remodels to make the house handicapped accessible (roll in shower/bathroom remodel when she first moved in and recently, a handicapped ramp for her to get in and out)
In the mean time, my money grubbing brothers fell it is their duty to separate Mom from her money now so they can live comfortable lives and not actually work.
Of course, it is too much bother to visit her or pick up a phone and call (other than to demand support)
It is ugly now and is going to be uglier when she's gone. I will adhere to the exact wording of the will (I am personal representative) but I won't be happy about splitting everything 25% each when I am the only one who takes care of her.
You never know how long someone will live. My mom is 92 and my mother-in-law is 94. If they live to be 100, we most likely will never see an inheritance.
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