her. I am having a stress overload. She brought her daughter and daughter's boyfriend anyway. The daughter and boyfriend stayed at a friends house. In the mean time my neice came down with a a very bad cold. I told my sister please stay away from her daughter, she could get sick too. She said"I never get sick". I told her I felt uncomfortable about the situation. Mom has a weakend immune system,(cancer) and I; very little strength. I can not handle a cold. Needless to say I asked her to leave when she chose to spend the day with her daughter(mainly in a car with the windows up). I told her even if she does not have symptoms she could still be a carrier. She would have to leave for about 10 days. Of course she thinks I have no basis to ask her to leave. I am standing my ground. I just can not take a chance. I will be me left being ill or taking care of mom if a we become infected. She will be on a plane back to her home town. When I asked her why did she take a chance getting us ill; her reply was "Shes my daughter, I wanted to spend time with her. This was a visit to help me get some rest. She turned it into a family vacation. She comes only once a year. I take care of mom 365 days a year. Should I feel guilty in asking her to leave? Was ten days to long to ask her to stay away in fear of her be infectious?
you should stand your ground
and should be comended if you can
these relatives need to get a grip on reality and spend a month or at least a week doing what we do
they will then feel the same way when they have to pick up after someone their size with equal demands or more and just maybe then they will understand
then the nerve to bring in others
that tops the cake
dont let the family bully you into or out of what you know you need to do for your loved one of you can help it
it isnt easy as it is
STAND YOUR GROUND
truecolors
God Bless, Gossip3
Once again, thank you...thank you...thank you.
One possibility to allow your sis to spend some short visits w/ your Mom while she's in town, as long as she is not showing any cold symptoms herself, would be to have her where a face mask, and use bacterial hand wash when she enters the home, and as she is visiting. That way she might be allowed to still have a visit w/ Mom. If she's unwilling to do that, then too bad for her. You are calling the shots. And I agree w/ Oldlady, ask if she could come and stay a week w/ your Mom so you can go on vaction. I have two siblings in other states, and they NEVER do that for me. I've asked, but they say their work schedules, etc. keep them from doing that. But they can take time off to go to Hawaii and Europe, etc. They see Mom briefly once a year, and always w/ me continuing as the caregiver. They are the visitors, more like on vacation when they come!! Frustrating!!
Marcella
Marcella
p.s. I would appreciate you to pray for me to regain strength.
Thank you!
Toward your Sister you seemed to have explained things well... and in advance. You also hit the nail on the head when you stated you'll still be there contending with problems that might arise - without any help. It seems that like all of us when we're alone, you need simple reassurance at what you already know to be true is just that... true. Good for you!!!
When siblings, et al, refuse to provide consistent help, they themselves by their actions have clearly declared there can be only ONE person wholly responsible. YOU make the decisions. Stick your ground!
Keep looking up.
V