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What to do when a female resident with dementia is hovering around my father having (or are trying to have) sex? Now he may have a UTI. 🤷‍♀️

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Not sure if this is a harassment thing. The woman has Dementia so trying to reason with her won't do anything.This is not uncommon, the filters are gone. I would also say this woman needs to be in memory care but my Moms AL had no MC associated with it so residents were mixed.

Unless your Dad had sex with the woman, there is no way he could get a UTI from her. Is he cognitive, no Dementia, if so he can tell the woman he is not interested or ask a staff member to take her somewhere else. If he has Dementia, then you can ask that they be kept apart but my daughter worked in NHs and it was a normal occurrence. Actually, people thinking they were married and had spouses who visited. Walking into a room and oops, closing the door as she left.

My Mom had a man interested in her. He was known to be a dirty old man. When he said he was taking care of her, I told him no he wasn't. But my Mom had formed a dislike of men. She also didn't like being touched. I told the staff to please keep him away from Mom. I am pretty sure if he had tried anything, she would have been making enough fuss the staff would have heard.
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Unbelievable! Is your dad interested in this woman? How did you find out about this women and your dad? I would confront this woman. She could possibly be a nut case. Ask her what her motives are? Tell the Director or whoever is in charge at this facility what is going on. Is your dad aware of what is going on? This women could be sleeping with several men in the facility. You have got to nip this in the bud immediately.
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JoAnn29 Aug 2022
The woman has Dementia you can't confront her because she has lost the ability to be reasoned with. They lose filters and in some, sexual tendencies heighten.
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This happened to my uncle when he was in the nursing home. I had him moved away from this woman's area. His DIL and I consulted the sheriff's department. the sheriff told us to contact her son and daughter and tell them that we were were going to have her investigated for sexual harassment and give the information to the local newspaper with the lady's name. We met with the woman's family and they took care of it because they didn't want it getting out publicly. They moved her to another facility about a month later.

I don't know that I would do it again, but it was quick instead of dragging out for several weeks or months. And dementia patients inNH's are many times a problem for others and their families.
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PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
If law enforcement saw fit to investigate, they would have done so instead of suggesting that you blackmail these children with threats that you’d take on a civil litigation tort, which sexual harassment is. Let alone intimate that her name would be published in a paper of general record.
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Facilities are increasingly going to a “consent in the moment” model, meaning that if the parties say they’re consenting in the moment they are found, that’s assumed to be the case.

This is especially pertinent in that you didn’t mention dementia or legal incompetency in your profile regarding dad. If the latter doesn’t formally exist, homes tend to follow a model of letting residents be social and to date.
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Have you expressed your concern to the administrator of the facility? Perhaps one of them can be housed in a separate area or staff can be advised to keep them apart
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Try to get her to chase after another man
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Catskie62 Aug 2022
Good
idea
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FLTNdaughter, have you contacted the Assisted Living facility? Any person with dementia does not belong in "Assisted Living", they need to be in "Memory Care".
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