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My mom’s neighbor is a nice guy who happens to be bipolar. Over the last month his behavior has become difficult. He is not taking meds. He would like to buy my parent's home, but insists it is at a price determined by him. Twice this week I have arrived to do work in the home to find things a mess. He has removed the screens from doors which I find in various areas of the yard. Mom’s deck furniture moved from the deck to the end of her driveway. Hose reel over near a neighbors driveway with that neighbors hose stretched into mom’s yard. Two days ago he came over and demanded I give him title to my dad’s car because he gave it to someone. I said to him he had no right to do so and politely attempt to extricate myself. He won’t let it go and you can’t get a word in. This behavior can go on for hours. It’s the second time in five days I have found the property this way. He demands that I donate whatever we get for the house and that we should not get anywhere near the homes value in a sale. I have reached my limit. I understand the party has issues, but when is enough enough ?

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Because you have warned him you must now call the police the next time he approaches you at the property. I would work on getting a restraining order. Take pictures of what he's touched on the property as proof to show the police. He's not a nice guy, he's a sick guy who is out of control and a possible danger because he is overrunning boundaries and not operating in the realm of reality. Do not go back to the property without being accompanied by another person.
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This is trespass, yes?

Restraining order, served professionally. Have him arrested the next time you find him on the property.
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Maybe call a realtor, asking what to do if someone interferes with the sale of a home. Have an attorney write a letter.

Have you ever seen the neighbor's relatives? Maybe talk to them? You can advise your neighbor to go home and keep a low profile for his own benefit.

Yes, remove the car from the premises.

Whenever we have a neighbor behave this delusional, (and we do), they are soon taken away on a 5150 hold, without us having to do anything. Fortunately, we are not anyone's current target, since I do not attempt to help or be kind anymore.

I would have a house sitter guard the property.

You could also notify the surrounding neighbors what is going on, and that you are NOT selling to him. He is trespassing.
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JimL1953 Sep 2021
Thank you. All surrounding neighbors are aware of the problem.
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I wouldn't wait for the next time call the police now. He is probably manic. The police can call in APS to evaluate him. Not sure what a restraining order will do. He has to be on the property for the police to arrest him. Maybe install cameras that you can see him and then call the police if he enters the property.

Do not argue with the man. Tell him that the house and rest of the estate are in probate and no decisions concerning the house can be made yet. Make sure the house is secure. If the screens are off maybe because he tried to get thru a window. I would change the locks. I would also remove anything of value from the house. The car, move it to another location.
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Tothill Sep 2021
Where I live if a restraining order is in place, 911 calls are given priority.
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It already is. You should call the police.’it seems unsafe with the state he is in, and I’m sure you are not a professional trained to deal with people who are in a mental health crises. Perhaps if you know his relatives you could call to give a heads up. Otherwise let the police deal with this.
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I am very sorry for the loss of your mom.

I know how frustrating it can be to deal with an individual with bipolar issues, who has for whatever reason gone off their meds. You sound like you have been very patient with him and have some knowledge of him previous to this issue.
Is it possible that your mom was a stabilizing influence for him and he is acting out due to her loss?

Since this is a small community, perhaps some of your moms older neighbors know of his extended family and may be able to advise you of previous issues and how they were resolved. I’m assuming here that he is a long time resident. That may not be the case at all. Do you know if he owns the house next door or is he a recent renter? I guess I’m thinking if there is a landlord involved that might be useful information.

Regardless, I’m sure the last thing you want is for the situation to be escalated without resolution.

https://www.falmouthma.gov/444/Senior-Services-Senior-Center

This is the link to the area agency on aging in your area. Regardless of the age of your moms neighbor, this agency may be familiar with local resources for mental health. You are going to have to reach out to a government resource of some description.
If he has gone off his meds before, the local law enforcement may have experience from a previous episode.

I personally would hesitate to call 911 due to the unfortunate incidents that occur when police are called into an escalated situation with the mentally challenged.

Sometimes police have policies for bickering neighbors and have a protocol to go through before any real action can be taken. Then you are left with the interim fallout.

Here is a link to your local sheriffs department. They have a seniors program that might be the one you will be looking for. Often the sheriffs department gets the orders to pick up those needed to be committed for evaluation. That order usually comes from a judge. If you contact them, they may be able to guide you through the process. Often a claim Of them being a danger to themselves or others must be made.
They may be able to tell you.

http://www.bsheriff.net/about-bcso-2/departments/seniorprograms/

Good luck on getting this resolved. Please come back and let us know how it plays out. We learn from one another.
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Geaton777 Sep 2021
97yroldmom, no -- the OP needs to call the police and get this person on their radar. Back in the late 70s a young adult neighbor who was let out of an institution with no place to go (when Jimmy Carter closed them all and started homelessness in the U.S.) stopped taking his meds and murdered my cousin's 8-yr old daughter AND her best friend. So, no. The OP needs to contact the appropriate authorities to keep them *and others* safe and get help for the bi-polar (or psychotic?) neighbor. Contacting the family will do nothing since they have no authority over him and can't force him to take meds or do anything he doesn't want to do.
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It's enough now.

Neighbour must stay on his side of the fence. Tell him that. Repeat as needed.

If he is serious about buying any of the assets, have his representative (lawyer etc) contact you.

Regardless of health problems he is overstepping. Mental health issues are not a free pass to walk all over you or your property.

If he cannot adhere to reasonable neighbour boundaries - it may be time for law enforcement to spell them out.
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My condolences for the loss of your mom, JimL.

What an exasperating and to me, potentially dangerous situation. My first thought is, he’s “nice” but what do you know about this person? Does he have a record, does he have any guns? Is he known in the neighborhood as a harmless eccentric or does he scare people?

You have the right to not have trespassing on your property and to sell the house to whomever you please as whatever price the market will bear. But I wouldn’t want you to inadvertently “set him off” while doing this.

Would you consider a call to law enforcement to discuss options?
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JimL1953 Sep 2021
I have known him for many years. I don’t know if my mother passing set him off. I don’t think he is a physical danger, but his behavior warrants watching. Other people have suggested taking pics which I will do. I am going to contact the sheriffs department as well and see where that takes us.
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Call 911 to report trespassing and vandalism.
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I'd go to the police station and ask to speak to someone about the situation, and the options available.
I'd also call Adult protective services and see if you can report him as an elder at risk - if he is 60 or older. He clearly isn't functioning very well and they may be the ones who end up getting an order for psychiatric services.
They can't disclose who made the call. Or tell you what happens.
Please be careful. Try not to engage with him. Having someone else with you is a very good idea. If you know other neighbors and can call them (not making a visit as he may see this as a threat to him in some way) and let them know that you are having difficulties with this man, and that he is not acting on your behalf in any way, that might help.
He is unstable and not able to control his own behavior.
I'm sorry all of this is happening so soon after the loss of your mother.
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JimL1953 Sep 2021
Thank you. I am not afraid of him physically , but do worry when I am not around my mom’s home. The surrounding neighbors are aware of what’s going on.
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