My mom lives with me and has mild dementia. I say mild only because she rehearses facts daily with her diary. We see her failing each day. Others think she's fine. The doctor has ok'd mom to make a 10/12 hr trip to Mi. (He isn't the one taking her).she is super frail and has potty problems. She will have to take a lomotil. She makes weird sounds in the truck so I will need to wear earphones. My question is if she stays with my brother and he talks her into an action I would not approve of such as a reverse mortgage, revising her POA and Trust...what should I do? I know that would take time, but since he is a financial mooch I worry what he might try. Mom has no access to her bank accounts because she has resigned as Trutee. I have been protecting her from financial elder abuse while she lives with me. My brother has had an easy time getting money from mom before. We take care of all her needs and now this situation is coming up. Am I worrying too much?
Curious why Mom would be staying with your brother, if you feel he might act that way? Stay in a hotel.
Regarding "going home", are you sure your Mom wants to visit her home in Mi? Was it Mom's childhood home, too? Usually when someone has dementia, during a certain stage, "home" means the house the person lived as a child.
As for the doctor who said it is ok to your Mom to travel, is he a geriatric doctor, neurologist doctor or a regular MD? Because a doctor who specializes in treating elderly would never had given such an ok to travel. A change of scenery could possibly accelerate the dementia, and what if your Mom refuses to come back home?
I agree to the comments that the trip will be so hard for both of us. I also, try and understand her need to be part of the family function. I asked the doctor at last visit if he thought mom would be able to make the trip in her frail condition. He surprised me and said he would rather her go than miss being able to do this last trip. As my daughter said "It isn't him doing it." I was hoping I'd have some time with my husband on trip and daughter who lives in Mi.
I don't mind giving up that. My issue is with my brother who might try and convince my mom to reverse her Trust or get a reverse mortgage. Since I have POA would she be able to do anything in a short time?
Thank you all for your help.