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tf2766
Persevering
Tenacious
Caring
Effective
Successful
Caregiver!
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Sendhelp Mar 2020
That was a compliment.
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Interesting psychologically. In my first very gentle post I wrote “What you see as voicing concerns - 'could you check x, I think y' - could well double as giving instructions.” No, OP can’t see how this could overlap at all. I also wrote “think hard whether this might have happened” because in my experience with complaints like this, the complainer simply cannot see that they could possibly be at fault. Interesting that the rule has changed – simplest way out for the facility? However it’s good that OP and the five brothers and sisters are now happy. It may not last, if coronavirus starts limiting visiting to places for the highest death rate – the over 80s.
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tf2766 Mar 2020
Easy way out? I think not. Dss said they could NOT stop a family from voicing medical concerns. All we've ever voiced was "medical" concerns. We never asked will you check on this or that. We do a lot for mom there. Lots of things like showers, change her bedding, do her laundry, etc that lightens the staffs load....things that are included in mom's monthly rate, but we do them. Why? Because we know they have their hands full. And too, she's our mother and we don't mind doing for her. We never bombarded them with questions over petty stuff. Never not once told them to do something different, never gave orders. I know some families are demanding. I've seen it. But we are the type to help others, not the demanding selfish type. Just the way we were raised. I really get tired of people "assuming" we give orders or are constantly asking questions. No. We went to them over medical concerns only. The new rule came in to play because ofone in management disliking one of mom's children. Look. My situation worked out as it did because dss said no that can not be done. Doesn't mean that every state, county, facility country wide follows same guide lines. I'm just stating what happened in my situation. No. It won't work out like that for everyone. Unfortunately.
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I'll suggest another thing unless someone else has already done so. If your family becomes a problem they could ask for you to find another place to bring your mom, maybe?

Maybe it's something to consider? If you rock the boat hard enough it will dump you overboard
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I am not certain, but I think something here is missing? You say that this happened after the manager had a problem with one family member. You don't say what this problem was, but seems to me it must have gotten a bit testy. I think that rig.ht now all facilities are living in terror of the virus and of what it will mean if the virus gets into a facility. In fact, given Kirkland WA we KNOW what will happen. I think there are likely extra precautions, extra meetings, and all over difficulty. I am not sure what is going on here, but I can say that it could come to a bad turn if it is suggested that your family may be more comfortable with Mom in another facility. Do you overall believe that Mom is getting good care? That she is in loving, caring hands? I would just do as asked if that is the case. And hard as it will be for that one person allowed (I assume the POA for Health care?) you will have to call him or her and say "Sorry, sis, but I think Mom has a fever; could you call and ask them to check". Wishing you the best. This will likely blow over with time.
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