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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Don’t rush into any decisions without thinking this through. Consider options that won’t require you to quit your job. If you are relying on your income don’t act in haste and leave your job. You may regret it.
According to your profile, you work fulltime, go to college part-time and are raising your 11-year-old daughter. And you and your husband's jobs are both 1.5 hours away. (!)
"I have been the caregiver to my mother in-law, who has CHF, Osteoarthritis, Chronic COPD, OSA, and is severely obese."
" My husband has pretty much left me to deal with mom, he simply cannot handle the stress of managing a business, working full time, and coming home to his mothers ever increasing need."
She has a lot of needs. So she is currently being left at home during the workweek? This doesn't sound good.
MIL is not YOUR problem. Your H needs to man-up and put his family first.
Time for his mother to go to a facility. Don't give up your job and benefits.
If you quit work, will you be able to pick up where you left off after MIL passes? You’ll be older and out of the loop. Younger people will be hired before you. It’s not easy to start again later in life.
If you need your income to keep afloat, then you simply cannot afford to quit. The state is not going to chip in and keep your standard of living the same it is now. You think you’re helping, but really you are sabotaging your own family.
Well the others covered some really important stuff but I wanted to add.....I read your profile and you have a younger child. Do you realize that becoming a caregiver to a sick elderly parent will quickly consume you? It will become your life. You will run yourself in to ground. Unless you’ve got multiple family members and or hired caregivers coming in regularly to give you a break, this is a bad bad bad idea. I’ve got an 11 year old too (and a 7 year old) and I would never ever become a full time caregiver to my aging parents, or to my in-laws. Ever. My children and husband come first. Your daughter and husband must come first.
In your state, there isn’t going to be full compensation for taking care of your MIL unless she can pay you a nice salary. If she’s eligible for a state or community program that would all you to be her paid caregiver, you would be paid minimum wage for a couple hours a day. You would not receive any benefits, no paid time off, no pension or retirement plan, nothing. You would be sacrificing some of your own future stability. If your insurance is currently through your employer, you will lose it.
But as a mother myself, I think with your MILs health issues, that it is too much to take on when you are raising a child. Your child must come first.
try to get her in to assisted living-there is financial assistance for that.
MaJones, the vast majority of grown children who are caregivers do not get paid.
If you quit your job please note you will not be only losing salary but a lot of other things most of us don't think about. If your company pays for your health insurance that would be huge lost for you. You will also miss out on monies being placed into your Social Security and Medicare.
Depending on your company benefits, if the company gives you matching or semi-matching 401(k) that would also be a huge lost. Same if the company has "profit sharing", and life insurance policy.
So you have a lot to think about. And please, don't use any of your own money for your Mom-in-law's care. You and hubby need your own savings for when you or hubby or both need extra care as you age. Plus you have an 11 year old at home.
Check to see if your Mom-in-law can apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Each State runs their own Medicaid programs. Most States have some type of care payment but don't be surprised if the hourly rate is very low, and the hours limited.
You have mentioned in your profile about Assisted Living. That would be great if Mom-in-law can budget for the monthly rent. My Dad was paying $6k to $7k per month. He loved it there being around people of his own age group.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"I have been the caregiver to my mother in-law, who has CHF, Osteoarthritis, Chronic COPD, OSA, and is severely obese."
" My husband has pretty much left me to deal with mom, he simply cannot handle the stress of managing a business, working full time, and coming home to his mothers ever increasing need."
She has a lot of needs. So she is currently being left at home during the workweek? This doesn't sound good.
MIL is not YOUR problem. Your H needs to man-up and put his family first.
Time for his mother to go to a facility. Don't give up your job and benefits.
If you quit work, will you be able to pick up where you left off after MIL passes? You’ll be older and out of the loop. Younger people will be hired before you. It’s not easy to start again later in life.
If you need your income to keep afloat, then you simply cannot afford to quit. The state is not going to chip in and keep your standard of living the same it is now. You think you’re helping, but really you are sabotaging your own family.
In your state, there isn’t going to be full compensation for taking care of your MIL unless she can pay you a nice salary. If she’s eligible for a state or community program that would all you to be her paid caregiver, you would be paid minimum wage for a couple hours a day. You would not receive any benefits, no paid time off, no pension or retirement plan, nothing. You would be sacrificing some of your own future stability. If your insurance is currently through your employer, you will lose it.
But as a mother myself, I think with your MILs health issues, that it is too much to take on when you are raising a child. Your child must come first.
try to get her in to assisted living-there is financial assistance for that.
If you quit your job please note you will not be only losing salary but a lot of other things most of us don't think about. If your company pays for your health insurance that would be huge lost for you. You will also miss out on monies being placed into your Social Security and Medicare.
Depending on your company benefits, if the company gives you matching or semi-matching 401(k) that would also be a huge lost. Same if the company has "profit sharing", and life insurance policy.
So you have a lot to think about. And please, don't use any of your own money for your Mom-in-law's care. You and hubby need your own savings for when you or hubby or both need extra care as you age. Plus you have an 11 year old at home.
Check to see if your Mom-in-law can apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Each State runs their own Medicaid programs. Most States have some type of care payment but don't be surprised if the hourly rate is very low, and the hours limited.
You have mentioned in your profile about Assisted Living. That would be great if Mom-in-law can budget for the monthly rent. My Dad was paying $6k to $7k per month. He loved it there being around people of his own age group.
She should also be paying rent, board and all of her personal expenses.
But first I suggest you read the many posts here from people who are burnt out from caring for a parent in their home.