Today I drove my Dad around to see some nature, to get him out as we have all been cooped up and cabin fever is real! We were gone 1 hour and 45 minutes. When we got home I made us lunch and took it to his backyard and ate in the trailer my husband and I bought to live in while we care for him. He still lives alone at his house where he has lived for 30 years. We ate our lunch together and watched his favorite TV show. My husband got home from work and he watched a bit of The Outer Limits with us before we decided to go back inside my Dad's house. We settled down in his living room and he mentioned how beautiful the fireplace was. I told him that he did a beautiful job building his home and that I was proud of him! He said that while he knows he built it he wondered who lived here. My husband and I explained that HE lived here!!! My Dad quietly but firmly insisted repeatedly that he did not live here. I walked with him around the house and showed him all of our family photos. He wondered why strangers had our family pics. So as I sit here and reflect, I wonder if I triggered some sort of accelerated memory lapse. The thought that he could forget who I am paralyzes me. I am his only relative and he is mine. He adopted me as a single man in the 70s when I was 7 years old, and it's always just been him and I. :(
Who knows what goes on in the mind of an Alzheimer's sufferer. My father had Alzheimer's. He had other problems as well in his 91st year. He was on hospice and after he moved from the AL apartment he shared with mom and moved to SNF his memory declined more quickly. We were lucky, he knew his family up to the day he died, even my brother that he hadn't seen for a couple of years. He could get very agitated about what was happening in his world. One day while visiting he was upset because he owed some woman $25 dollars, I told him I had paid it already and the check was on its way. He called me one night - or the nurse called for him - again it was about money - he had to have a large sum of money - now! I explained the banks were closed and he had to wait till the next morning when I'd be there with the required sum knowing he'd forget it by morning.
Don't try and make your father understand that he is in his home, its too stressful for him and just confuses him more. I didn't consider my answers as lies since the scenario was all to real to dad (I called it visiting his world or his delusion.) If he doesn't accept that he is in his home, find an answer that will provide him with as much comfort and peace as possible. Hold onto the memories you have of him. Try not to stress yourself out over this as there is nothing you can do. It may sound mean and perverse, but I smile when I remember his delusions regarding money dad had. Some were a little harder to handle such as telling me mom was out spending all their money and visiting "her boyfriends". Some are painful such as when I was told the nurses had to hold onto him because he was trying to rescue children from a burning building that wasn't there. (One of the reasons they had to hold onto him was because he was too weak and was always falling - I always cringed when early morning or late evening phone calls came because it almost always meant he had fallen again - or more likely slid to the floor.)
Alzheimer's is a rollercoaster and it is heartbreaking to watch a LO decline. Hang onto the memories of your father because no matter what happens to him in this journey, he will always be in your heart. Good Luck.
You do realize that he really should not be left alone. Someone should be with him at least at night. They wander during the night. Checking in frequently during the day if you don't actually want to live there. There is no ryhmn or reason to ALZ. What they do one day is not what they do the next. You cannot reason with them or expect them to remember, don't use the stove. You are now dealing with a person with the brain of a small child. The child can learn, your Dad can't. His brain is dying little by little.
There is a great video on You Tube. Put Alzheimer video in their search. Pick the one with the yellow brain. It takes you thru every stage.
If this continues you will have more worries re his ability to stay in home alone, but time will tell. Hope you will update us, but for now am chalking this up to exhaustion of a busy day.
As far as forgetting who you are is concerned, it can happen, but doesn't always. We read a lot of posts here about sons and daughters, wives and husband's who have to cope with the fact that their loved one believes they are someone else. They have to go along with it, too, because there's no other choice. WE have to enter THEIR reality now, whatever it may be at the moment, and go with the flow. It's hard, no joke.
Go to Alz.org and read up about the disease and what to expect, how to cope, and how to handle certain situations. Continue reading posts here, too, to hear others stories and coping mechanisms. Also, be sure your dad's home has locks installed high up on the exterior doors so he cannot get out at night and wander away. Also remove all the chemicals from under the sink and lock up medications, etc. Unplug electric appliances like the stove if he's ever at home alone, or even if he's not but you're sleeping. They tend to have trouble sleeping at night and get into mischief as they have no sense of danger anymore. As the disease progresses, he can get into trouble in 1000 different ways.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation