I was married to my sister in law’s brother. He passed away 3 years ago. Since my husband’s passing, I have had no contact with my sister in law, although I have been close to my mother in law (her mom) for 40 years. My sister in law hates me, very evident for years. She also has POA. Now that her mom is in a new nursing home, she ordered the staff to prevent me from visiting. Do I have any recourse?
Is MIL competent and does she remember you at all?
Is MIL asking for you?
Send lovely cards, flowers, snacks, whatever you can think of, tell her you love her. Hope the cards are read to her, and move on with your life is my advice. This isn't a fight you need or the mountain you need to die on. Hopefully her daughter is caring and loving with her mom, but the fact is that you aren't a part of this family now, really. I would leave this. It's a lesson to others, sadly, of what family warfare ends in.
You can also try calling her room and hope that a kind nurse will put the phone up to your MIL's ear so you can tell her these things yourself.
You can go to court and ask for mediation in this matter.
Or you can ask your SIL if there can be monitored visits if there is a reason that she thinks that you visiting will upset your MIL.
If you know the Hospice you might want to talk to the Team manager and see if they can help settle this. (They would even be more likely to do this if your MIL has asked to see you.
There is a very good possibility that this is something that is not going to get resolved and you have to prepare for that.