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I was married to my sister in law’s brother. He passed away 3 years ago. Since my husband’s passing, I have had no contact with my sister in law, although I have been close to my mother in law (her mom) for 40 years. My sister in law hates me, very evident for years. She also has POA. Now that her mom is in a new nursing home, she ordered the staff to prevent me from visiting. Do I have any recourse?

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It's not clear from your question - is your mother-in-law of sound mind? If she is, then she can make her own decision about her visitors. POAs only have decision-making power when the person is incapacitated in some way.
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DebbiL 11 hours ago
She is 98 years old and she communicates and understands what is happening.
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Other than to write SIL to tell her "I know you aren't over fond of me, and I don't ask you to be, but I think you know I love and respect MIL; I'm hoping you might allow me to visit? I would be happy to do so only in your presence should you so wish". I can't think of a thing you might do.
Is MIL competent and does she remember you at all?
Is MIL asking for you?

Send lovely cards, flowers, snacks, whatever you can think of, tell her you love her. Hope the cards are read to her, and move on with your life is my advice. This isn't a fight you need or the mountain you need to die on. Hopefully her daughter is caring and loving with her mom, but the fact is that you aren't a part of this family now, really. I would leave this. It's a lesson to others, sadly, of what family warfare ends in.
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If you find this fight not worth fighting, then I would just send your ex-MIL nice cards and letters telling her how much you love her, miss her, are thinking about her and praying for her, and hope that someone in her facility will read them to her before your ex-SIL gets a hold of them and throws them away.
You can also try calling her room and hope that a kind nurse will put the phone up to your MIL's ear so you can tell her these things yourself.
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DebbiL 12 hours ago
Need to clarify that my husband and I were still married when he passed away. I am a widow. A widow is not considered an "ex" because "ex" refers to a former spouse who is still alive, while a widow is someone whose spouse has died, meaning they cannot be considered a former spouse in the traditional sense; it's important to be respectful and avoid using "ex" when referring to a deceased spouse.
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I agree with what Grandma1954 wrote. With her being the "gatekeeper" as PoA, you will be up against a brick wall and will need to decide if fighting it is worth it.
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DebbiL 11 hours ago
I totally understand. A POA is to act in the best interest of the person not in their own interest, which I feel my SILis doing :(
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She is POA so yes she can limit or restrict visits.
You can go to court and ask for mediation in this matter.
Or you can ask your SIL if there can be monitored visits if there is a reason that she thinks that you visiting will upset your MIL.
If you know the Hospice you might want to talk to the Team manager and see if they can help settle this. (They would even be more likely to do this if your MIL has asked to see you.
There is a very good possibility that this is something that is not going to get resolved and you have to prepare for that.
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