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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Getting things for the home making surely she is fine and the moment I need to go to the doctors, pay a bill, etc. She gets very anxious and mad. I come back home and she complains that she is not being taken care of when I make sure she is fine.
Next time she does this suggest an assisted living facility if you are not helping her up to her standards. I believe my father decided to go to AL because I wasn't jumping when he snapped his fingers. I was helping him live on his own but I wasn't doing things the second he wanted them done. I had my own life.
The most important thing to realize is that you are entitled to have your own life. This board is full of posts from people who, with the best generous intentions, have given up way too much for their parents and are paying way too high a price. Don't let yourself fall into that trap. If you already have, work at extricating yourself.
What are the details? Did you move into your mother's house, or did she move into yours? Were you already retired, or did you give up a job to take care of her? Has she always been demanding and temperamental, or is this a recent personality change?
If she's safe and competent to be by herself, but is anxious, talk to her doctor about medication to calm her anxiety. It's a hard way to live, and she deserves relief if it's possible. If being selfish and demanding is just part of her personality, then tell her she doesn't get to dictate your life and you will not tolerate her criticism, and then refuse to engage when she acts that way.
Your first post says Mom is 87 and you live with her.
You mention nothing about Mom having a Dementia. Being needy comes with Dementia. If no Dementia, then you have to tell her that there are things that you need to do. You cannot be with her 24/7. You deserve time to yourself. If she has Dementia, then your not going to get this thru to her.
Do what you need to do and let her be mad. Just ignore it,
Too bad if your mom gets mad when you have to do things for yourself. Sounds like a spoiled toddler who doesn't get their way and throws a temper tantrum. Just ignore her, or tell her if she now needs that much care that she will either have to pay for in-home help with her money or move into an assisted living facility, again payed for with her money. You have a right to a life too, so don't forget that, and quit putting pup with her BS.
Tell us more about your situation: 1. How old are you and how old is mother? 2. Do you live with mother? Does mother live with you? 3. Does mother have a diagnosis of Dementia? Symptoms?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What are the details? Did you move into your mother's house, or did she move into yours? Were you already retired, or did you give up a job to take care of her? Has she always been demanding and temperamental, or is this a recent personality change?
If she's safe and competent to be by herself, but is anxious, talk to her doctor about medication to calm her anxiety. It's a hard way to live, and she deserves relief if it's possible. If being selfish and demanding is just part of her personality, then tell her she doesn't get to dictate your life and you will not tolerate her criticism, and then refuse to engage when she acts that way.
You mention nothing about Mom having a Dementia. Being needy comes with Dementia. If no Dementia, then you have to tell her that there are things that you need to do. You cannot be with her 24/7. You deserve time to yourself. If she has Dementia, then your not going to get this thru to her.
Do what you need to do and let her be mad. Just ignore it,
Just ignore her, or tell her if she now needs that much care that she will either have to pay for in-home help with her money or move into an assisted living facility, again payed for with her money.
You have a right to a life too, so don't forget that, and quit putting pup with her BS.
1. How old are you and how old is mother?
2. Do you live with mother? Does mother live with you?
3. Does mother have a diagnosis of Dementia? Symptoms?