My husband's father is staying with us during this pandemic. His caregiver of 4 years went out of the country before the quarantine and she has been gone for a little over a month. We've both heard him call her on the phone to see when she will come back and notice he's been saying "I love you." His reactions towards her has my husband wondering if he is in a position that he could be taken advantage of. Obviously having the same caregiver for 4 years one would almost see them as part of the family, but is that normal? Any advice on how to monitor this?
The words "I love you' are not spoken enough in this world!
Yes, aides can become a very important part of a person's life. Sometimes its the only interaction a person has during the day. But, there is such a thin line here. They aren't family they are employees. Its their job to care for their client and do it in a caring way. But I see where abusing the situation can happen. The aide gets a little too comfortable. You can be caring but an aide needs to keep it professional. If a client, especially a man, starts showing signs that he wants more from the relationship, then its up to the aide to remind the man that she is an employee and anything more than that can't happen. Aides should except no gifts (especially if with an agency). If the person insists, then the aide should talk to the family. There's a post now where an Uncle or father hired a live in Caregiver and she moved her family in. He is being taken for a ride financially. But he is competent.
So what I am saying, is keep your eyes open. Maybe mention to the aide that you overheard a conversation and you hope she is professional enough to remember she is an employee and not allow FIL to think anymore than that.
Mom is 91.
what is FIL’s status? Is son on his accounts? How many caretakers are there? How many backup caretakers are available? Have you met these caregivers? Let them know you are watching in a kind way. Who is watching his house, belongings, doing maintenance? Lots to take care of now. Many opportunities for loss here.
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