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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
To add to alwayslearning's comment, photo document your mom's place and include the pictures in a formal letter, detailing all of your concerns, that you send to all your siblings. If they still refuse to see reality, then you will know you have done all you could as far as they go and you can proceed with social services or whatever else with no feeings of guilt.
Even if you're sure your siblings won't help, whatever you mean by help, I recommend that you keep them informed -- just the facts, ma'am, but all the facts -- so that in the end you aren't "rewarded" with out-of-left-field accusations from them based on ignorance. First announce that you're just going to report what you see and what you do, that you're not expecting anything back but want them to be aware; then do it. You don't know how it will shift things, but it might, and in any case it will help protect you.
RLP, it's tough to stand alone but you're going in the right direction. Adult Protective Services may not have all the answers but doors will continue opening as you push on. A few years ago, I got a call from a friend of my Aunt's --- she was worried about my Aunt's strange behavior. Then my sister got a call from her attorney's office. Who else is there to call except APS? I can't say the caseworker solved our problem but she helped us to think things through. My sisters finally hired a geriatric case manager who helped us decide how to help her. She, also, befriended our Aunt and walked her through the process of going into assisted living.
You're in a tough spot, RLP. If her hoarding poses a safety and health risk to her, you almost have no other options but to get social services help for her. She will never hear the message if it comes from you. Whatever you decide to do, good luck in getting her the help she needs as soon as possible.
Mother's hoarding and drinking issues at 84 are a big family secret. People either don't know and my siblings either drink as much as she does or live far away. Mom is not safe. She had a brain injury four years ago and is getting worse daily. I am the only child living near her and and have had two heart attacks.. I promised my father that I would look after her when he died. I have tried everything I know to help her without being confrontational or critical. Her hoarding is frightening, her house is truly dirty, and she is hiding her drinking from me again. She eats things that are a month old and becomes furious when you try to bring food that is fresh. I know she is a child of the Depression Era, but her father still had a very good job and she did not go hungry. I think there are many issues here that need to be reviewed by a doctor, but she never tells them the truth. I don't know where else to turn except social services. I am open to suggestions, though. Know that my siblings (who are much older) will not help.
My answer is based on having worked for DFCS many years ago.
Call from a pay phone. Ask for Adult Protective Services or Senior Services.
Tell them you are calling as a concerned friend or neighbor who would prefer to remain anonymous.
Give SPECIFIC information that shows concern for her welfare, for instance: She has been seen out of doors not properly dressed (such as in her nightfgown when its below freezing) She has unexplained injuries (cuts, bruises, etc) Living conditions are such that they put her at risk (such as vermin, rodents, too many pets)
Make a list before you call.
I once considered this step with my own mother when she was defying my efforts to help her and I was truly concerned for her safety. Instead I called in two male relatives and only then would she let me in.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Call from a pay phone. Ask for Adult Protective Services or Senior Services.
Tell them you are calling as a concerned friend or neighbor who would prefer to remain anonymous.
Give SPECIFIC information that shows concern for her welfare, for instance:
She has been seen out of doors not properly dressed (such as in her nightfgown when its below freezing)
She has unexplained injuries (cuts, bruises, etc)
Living conditions are such that they put her at risk (such as vermin, rodents, too many pets)
Make a list before you call.
I once considered this step with my own mother when she was defying my efforts to help her and I was truly concerned for her safety. Instead I called in two male relatives and only then would she let me in.
Good luck.