I'm trying to prevent my mother from having to end up in a hospital because right now I feel she's going down a bad path. Her ankles are swollen, she eats tons of sugary foods, doesn't want salads and healthier foods, and refuses to exercise just a little bit by walking even just a short distance.
As for walking, my parents use to walk 2 miles a day, then one day they pretty much stopped. In my opinion a lot of this was due to eye sight. Both wearing bi-focals were have more difficultly finding the curbs to cross the street. Bones were aching more, too. Dad's knees were hurting too much. Heaven forbid if Mom would allow Dad to go outside with his rolling walker, she didn't want the neighbors to think they were getting old. After a few falls outside, Dad ignored Mom :P
My parents did walk in stores like Target, each had their own cart to use to help balance them, so they got exercise doing that.
The easiest way to keep her walking is to take her places where she needs to walk, be it the mall, grocery store or beach boardwalk. And someone could go for walks with her to make it more of a pleasant activity and less walking just for the sake of walking. Losing the ability to walk is a huge step down so it is worth making the effort.
I suppose what you are really asking is how to get her to make the choices you think she should make. Right? How to motivate her to make good choices.
1) Make sure she knows the potential risks of her choices and benefits of changing.
2) Make good choices easy and convenient. Leave a small bowl of bananas and and easy-peel oranges on her table. Cut up melon (or buy them conveniently cut) and have that at the front of the fridge.
3) Is her doctor concerned about some of these choices? If the doctor would order some physical therapy for her in her home the therapist might have a better chance of getting Mom to walk a bit than a family member does.
4) What does the doctor think causes the ankles to swell? What is the doctor's treatment plan for this? Cut down on salt? Take pills? Walk? If walking hurts her at this point, would something else be good? How about a pedal exerciser -- the kind she can sit in a chair and just pedal her feet?
You want to keep her out of the hospital. -- Great goal! Can you discuss with her medical team which "bad" choice are of greatest concern? Which might not have as much impact on whether she'll need the hospital? Mom MIGHT be more likely to work on changing just one behavior at at time, especially if the doctor impresses her with the benefit of that change.
Here is what my mother's geriatrician told her: "Jean, I'm not going to tell you what to eat. You've made it into your late nineties in pretty good shape. You must be doing something right! But I do need to tell you about a couple of things that would be good for you at this point in your life: Drinking more liquid would be very helpful. And also cutting down on salt or salty foods. Other than that, I think you are doing fine."
Here's what that geriatrician said to me about my husband's diet (and his neurologist said the same thing). Let him eat whatever he wants. Avoid the things that seem hard for him to swallow. Keeping his weight up is probably more important than nutrition at this point. What he eats is not going to cure or worsen his dementia. He enjoys food. Give him that pleasure."
I really hope that your mother will change at least some of her choices to healthier foods and behaviors. But in any case, don't get in an adversarial role with her over this. Having good relationships in the family is a huge factor in her well-being, too.