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My husband is hard of hearing, knows he needs hearing aids and keeps putting it off for an entire year! His doctor even recommended a place to get them, but its stall stall stall. Our friends notice and he gets left out of conversations and because he misses what is said it makes him look spacy. I am sick to death of repeating almost everything I say. I find myself becoming irritable and very annoyed that I have to talk loud. If I ask again, he gets mad and blames me for talking too softly or mumbling. I am beginning to lose patience and don't know what else I can do besides keep asking nicely. Getting mad doesn't help, and I'm fuming inside more and more. It isn't good for me (or how I'm beginning to feel)

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I would recommend Zounds to anyone who is considering hearing aids. Because they are rechargeable, no batteries to change and there is a remote control to regulate your situation - well, I just can't speak more highly of a product. The inventor was an engineer with a daughter who had hearing loss young, and he knew there had to be a better way. My husband has the VA benefit of hearing aids every four years and there is some improvement in the Starkey brand with a remote control, but he still has to send for and install batteries. His shaky fingers even with a magnet pen are still difficult to install. Again, I recommend Zounds for hearing aids, and you will love them! As for my husband "playing me" as someone said, his dementia keeps him from saying much, but in 28 years of marriage, he has never been unfaithful, deceitful, or uncaring, but forgiving, loving, and devoted to me. I kiss the ground he walks on, and it would do well for others to be respectful of others.
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Ferris1 - I just got an ad for those Zounds. They do sound great!!! Glad to hear you like them. I expect to need them, but not quite yet.
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@ ferris,
women and men want two completely different things. women want someone who will listen and men want someone who will shut the h**l UP..
i think your husband is playing you.
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I've had this issue for decades, however, the new hearing aids free from the VA even have a remote control. When I started wearing his earphones for the t.v., I made an appointment, got checked out, needed hearing aids (Zounds) and even got CareCredit for the purchase with 0% interest. Zounds are made here in Tempe, AZ, they do not need batteries (no trying to put that tiny battery into that little space) because they are rechargeable. I put the two aids in their slots with the remote control in its slot, plug into the outlet, and 7-8 hours later they are charged and ready to go. When I place them in my ear, there is a salute (you know that song do-do-do-dut-a dut). Well, I cannot do it in print, but another method I have tried is to speak softly (most men cannot hear the high pitch of a women's voice), and then when my husband says he didn't know what I said, I say, "See what you are missing? Better get some hearing aids because I am not going to speak any louder." Try that and if he still stalls, don't talk to him. Men hate that! It is really abusive to have one partner who hears well, and the other in denial they need aids. My best to your solution.
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What?
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He is not old, is very active, and mentally sharp. He just can't be bothered to take the time to do it by his own admission, he's a procrastinator! I am so frustrated, and a little embarrassed for him because people we know are starting to think of him as old because he can't hear them. You would think vanity alone would motivate him.
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there are good tecniques for speaking to elders anyway , be they hard hearing or slow in comprehension. obtaining their undivided attention, facing the person and using concise predictable sentences are a few of them. key words are another. stay on their planet. my sister is horrible with this. she crowds the elder, doesnt give them time to think and jumps around like ted nugent on acid.
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My mother has also refused to acknowledge she has a hearing problem - her "hearing is fine - everyone mumbles". I get tired of repeating myself over and over again (and so does the rest of the family), so I just don't do it anymore. I say it once, and I look at her & say it loud enough that she SHOULD be able to hear me, and unless she asks me to repeat what I said (rarely does) then I don't do it. Is she missing out on conversations? Yes. Is she responding by making statements that have absolutely nothing to do with what we were talking about? Absolutely. Can I "make her" get hearing aids? Nope. She insists she doesn't need them, and that they are just "one more thing I would have to fiddle with", so she has dug in her heels. Hopefully you can convince your husband that his life really will be much more enjoyable hearing everything again, but if he is as stubborn as my mother, you're in for a long standoff. Maybe start lowering your voice and force him to confront that he really does have a hearing problem?
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It has been my experience that adults are only willing to change when the pain (or hassle, etc) of NOT changing becomes greater than the fear of change. So is your husband's deal that he doesn't want to admit he's getting older and needs hearing aids? A LOT of men have that problem. Others get the hearing aids and don't wear them because they don't like the way the sound comes through them. It doesn't sound like things used to. So you can eventually force him to GET the aids, but he won't necessarily wear them. My otolaryngologist says that the sooner you get the aids, the easier it is to adjust. If you wait until your hearing is pretty far gone, it's a lot harder to adjust.

What we did with my dad, who HAS the aids but won't wear them, is we refuse to raise our voices to talk to him, we refuse to have the TV up super loud, we don't repeat ourselves and if he keeps saying "What? What?" We hand him the hearing aids. When HE tires of being left out of things because he can't hear them, he will get the aids and wear them. But don't enable him.
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megaphone. youll need a megaphone..
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