My dad is 86 I cared for him at home but can no longer continue. I found him a wonderful board/care home. The people are great and only have 6 guests. He came out of rehab into the home, he has only lived there 3 days and has been nothing but a problem. I afraid they are going to say they can't keep him. He cannot come back to my home as we are moving to a much smaller place. His problem now is he is refusing to use the toilet and pooping in bed. They do not deal with this. He can use the toilet. Is there a place or what do I do to put him in a safe place. I'm at the end of my rope his living with us was ruining my family. Are there emergency places in California for people like him???
Between dementia and late-stage cancer, he needs advanced care. I wouldn't assume he's doing anything purposely. No one poops in their pants on purpose. Sometimes people lose complete control of their bladder and bowels. And that can happen overnight.
It's always dangerous with dementia patients to say "why won't they help themselves?". Because their brains are broken, that's why. What does dad say when you ask him about defecation outside the toilet? Does he hold some delusion about the toilet?
I would have him checked out by a hospital;I would ask for the social worker's help in getting him placed in a skilled nursing facility.
You said he has two kinds of cancer and is in late stages back in your earlier post. He probably needs a higher level of care than he's getting at the care home. I think you need to work on nursing home level of care. With your dad's situation, he's only going to get worse, not better. I'm sorry about that...but that's the reality of his illnesses and his age.