Being the sole caregiver I am finding all this out about my dad. He has been open about all of his medical needs (a little too open). I have complete access to his medical records and Dr.s My sister is a nurse and she as well. We lost mom last year on the operating table (yes I do blame the Dr., should not have operated on her). Dad is healthy for the most part. Had rheumatic fever at a young age and has an enlarged heart. He said he has a aneurysm on his heart. Nothing they worry about but he ha not had major surgery that I am aware of. He wants his knees repairs. I will take w all the Dr.s but I really don't want to go through what I did with mom when I know I should have talked her out of the surgery.
the diagnosis of an aneurysm in the heart is very scary but the fact is that they are very common and only a few cause dramatic problems. They are rarely diagnosed without other symptoms. once diagnosed they need to be monitored and if they reach a certain size need treatment which these days can be done minimally invasively or simply by putting a stent in via an arterial catheter. The stent keeps the artery open and relieves pressure on the weakened walls. Rheumatic fever is a very scary diagnosis. my dad had it during WW11 when he was in the army and there after the whole family expected him to drop dead at any time. He lived a perfectly healthy life and died at 82 eventually from heart failure but not till he had survived two hip replacements. My Cardiologist says my heart conditions are due to having rheumatic fever as a child which was news to me!
Anyway, She was in charge of my parents medical issues for the past 16 years they were living near her. She moved away to be near her child. I have had the closer relationship with my parents so dad moved in with me. Since she is a nurse she knows everything. She had the helm because she worked at the hospital they went to, Now dad is with me she is not the big dog on campus any longer. Anyway, dad tells her everything supposedly and tells me nothing. I have taken the you want it you fix it route with him because he will allow everyone to do everything for him and I am the do it yourself kind of guy. So now I look like the bad guy. My sister (were not that close) will be here for a few days while he is in the hospital, she will look like the angel and fly away back home and leave me with the mess to deal with later..... I took care of dad at his worst when mom died, I took care of the fiances, the move, the clean up, the dealing with taxes, business, the crying, the loneliness. My sister, a phone call once a week..... I gave up a quarter of my home (I was glad to do it) to care for him and I am the bad guy?????
Sorry, just venting here. So I will need to be sure she doesn't drink while she is here as she can be the tell you what you need to know person when she has one or 3.
I am trapped in my won home, I cant talk around my dad because he tells everyone everything (except me). I have taken to living like a monk, talking to my wife in our bedroom, not talking during dinner because everything turns to about him. I get he is lonely and needs to talk but not at my expense.
So how do i handle my sister when she is here? Give her the helm? Let her make all the decisions? I am an EMT, I know a little about knee surgery, I had my own knee surgery lived with it all my life with knee issues and brought my daughter through 2 knee surgeries so I am not a neophyte about this.....
Trapped like a rat......
time you became King of your castle. sisiter can jump up and down but if d is in rehab there is little she can do. you never know he might like it so much he will want to saty.