My step-father is an alcoholic and currently resides in an assisted-living situation. He is nearly blind and is declining every day. I live here in MT and am close with him. I call him and every day he seems more depressed. His health is declining and I feel helpless. I have two siblings that have been involved but they are totally frustrated as he continues to stay isolated and drinks. They feel that he has everything that he needs and quite frankly he does but he wants that companionship and person to take care of him. I have contacted several agencies that will help him get to doctor appointments, clean his apartment and even bathe him but he does not access these services. He was married to my mom for over 40 years until she left him and then had a companion for 6 years before she passed away. He has always had a woman to be with him and at 79 y/o he still wants a companion. Problem is he stays in and doesn't go out; he is in his own miserable world sleeping 20+ hours a day.
But in case they don't: I'm sorry for your stepfather but don't let his misery become yours. Sleeping 20 hours a day might be a symptom of depression but it might also be declining health and energy as he enters his last lap, so to speak. You and your siblings have made sure his needs have been met. You are not, repeat not, responsible for his happiness. Let the ALF do its job.