Dad wears Depends day and night but wont pee in the toilet. His Depends get filled and he has wet clothes and furniture. When we remind him he says he already went or I do use the toilet. We try to make it routine like before meals but he says I dont have to go, He refuses to change his Depends during the day. It's often difficult to get him to change them before bed. He wakes with wet clothes and bedding. (we do use bed pads to save the mattress). Any suggestions?
You might suggest that you have an interesting story about one of his favorite topics on the way to get him changed. Not giving the option or accepting his excuses is key. If he says, he's already changed, then, say okay, but this new one is better and we need the better one right now. Always keep talking to take the focus on it going your way and not his, though, he doesn't realize this.
This kind of thing can be very time consuming and exhaustive, but after a certain point, the dementia patient can't take the lead, make the decision or be left to handle their own hygiene. Eventually, you can't just accept their answers and let it ride. That's why sometimes, the care is too much and a facility or outside help is needed.
She has learned two tricks over the years. First, when going out, she puts on two. That way, in a public restroom, she can just rip the wet one off and she is set for the rest of the day if she has an accident again.
The second trick we have is there is a way to get the depends on without taking off the pants at all. You put the right side in and pull over the shoe and under the pants. Pull the pad all the way up. Then take the other side and pull it down through the left pants, around the other shoe and pull back up. it is a little challenging, but WELL WORTH the effort of changing a depends without taking off the shoes and pants to put a new one on. (Also works great with pull ups for little kids!)
Hope this helps!
Kate
With the elderly, compliance may happen sporadically. Expect nothing. Buy more Depends and be kind.When the people with dementia have a lucid moment they are heartbroken at their lack of control of so many things in their lives.
her diaper. In reading her medication side effects, I found this was a serious side effect of namenda. Since she is off that medication she goes more frequently. I usually take her to the bathroom an hour after meals and she sometimes sits for 15 minutes before she goes. I also get her up around 11 p.m and although her diaper is wet in the morning it is not enough to wet the bed. In addition the company that supplies the diapers gave her a brand called premium over night tranquility, and I use two of them. My mom is not mean but often acts like a stuborn 3 year old. I now realize, I am now the mother and must enforce the rules, with kindness and determination.
In talking with another friend, who's a psychotherapist I explained that dad's loosing weight and doesn't eat much at meal times. He was always a large man (never fat but physically large averaging around 220). He's now about 197, losing muscle tone, in addition. She suggested that some of the issue might be due to nutritional challenges. Does anyone have a thought on this? Dad will be 96 in July and I want to help him enjoy and love life as much as possible.
Yes, try a routine, usually after a meal, not prior. When in the bathroom run the water in the sink as that sound will make some people go.
Changing the Depends is a challenge for the much older generation that was raised during the Great Depression. They don't want to toss out a Depends until it it fully used.... [sigh].
Limit Dad's water in the evening to only at supper time, have him take his night time meds then. Then have him use the toilet just before going to bed.
Buy "disposable blue sheets" to use on chairs. You can buy seconds which are a lot cheaper then first quality.