I am the main caregiver for dad (mom is in a NH) and as he sees me continually (my family lives here with him) he confuses me for mom and vents incredible amounts of anger and bile toward me.
My elder sister, who he defies, thinks this is funny. Yeah. Real funny. It's hurtful and he is gleeful when he sees me cry. So I do my best to keep a stone face and not let him know he's hurt me.
THe only way I have of dealing with this is walking away from him when the foul language starts. Does anyone else have this problem?
You have been given good advice with good intentions so think carefully about your next step and there has to be one
Conversing with a LO who has Alzheimers is often like talking with your cat. Acknowledge, respond, be affectionate, develop boundless patience. Forget about rational responses. Show respect, your therapeutic fictional reponses are allowed {they may not work}. Try to accept the mind is damaqed by Alzheimer's Disease. Forget about rational responses. We can run ourselve ragged trying to rationalize the irrational behaviors Easy to say, impossible to live with.
~DLMifm
try to accept the mind is damaged by Alzheimer's Disease. Forget about rational responses. we can run ourselves ragged trying to rationalize the irrational behaviors
Easy to say, impossible to live with .."Take a BREAK often | You get to start over"
If not then you do have to realize he is not himself.
Your sister is insensitive to your feeling as well. What is that about? I see many little things that indicate to me previous dysfunction in the family. These things don't disappear because someone gets sick. They often get worse.
I wish you peace in this situation.
Laughing it off and making faces at your sister is not a helpful response, in fact it's insulting to you and the very real pain you're experiencing. The commenter who told you that really should think about how she'd feel if someone responded to her plea for advice in such a superior fashion. Fortunately, most of the people here are compassionate.
If you and your family are living with your father, you should move out if you can. Let your sister deal with him and see how she likes it. Moving him to a nursing home would be a good idea, although probably not the one your mother is in, for obvious reasons.
Good luck.
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