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My mother is in the housing of the elderly and is 85. My Dad is in a nursing home and is 90. My mother expects me to do everything as I am her daughter. I work a full time job have a husband, two children and two grandchildren and I did have a life until 2 years ago when I started caring for them. I am at my wits end. She refuses to go with anyone else, wants everything her way or she complains. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and all I got from her was I am sorry, no hug not nothing. It is all about her.
What can I do?

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Excuse my typing lol
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I do not have a answer to your post. I am writing because I have the same problem all she does is tell me that I am getting on her nerves how do you get to be 95 years old and be mean everyday. I am getting tired of this treatment she gives me and I am going to try to get some respite I wear all the hats in this house. And no outside help no family near by and been doing this for 10m years.I love her dearly she is my mom but do I have to be treated like this daily... Take care and God Bless you nand your family....-purplerain... * - *
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I strongly believe they don't remember how busy life was when they were your age. They have all day and don't understand that you are still dealing with many responsibilities. Be patient and kind, but firm. If you can get help to come in, just tell her who is coming and when. If she complains, don't react. Just state calmly that so and so is coming to help you with whatever. Say something like, "She's really nice, I think you'll like her." If you can get her rides through an elder care agency or caregiver tell her who is coming to pick her up and when. My experience through many elder relatives is that they will balk at the idea, but they quickly get used to it. You didn't mention dementia, so she will probably adjust to others taking over to help just fine. If someone else shows up to help her and you are not there to complain to, that often works out best.
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