I am the 24/7/365 caregiver for our parent. However I have noticed over the years, they totally "drop" me when they receive a phone call (or rarer yet, visit) form a far out of state sibling.
It has even gotten to the point that they will give valuables away to these siblings, their spouses, and their kids, when they have NOT given me any valuables.
It's really frustrating, and isn't this sort of unethical for these siblings, to me it seems they are taking advantage of this really weird behavior.
What can I do?
In her demented state, she recently told a NH inspector that she didn't know where the money had gone from the sale of her house so now, like a common criminal, I'm being accused of stealing her money and having to produce paperwork to the government, which I can easily do. I'm no angel but I've never even had a parking ticket! Of course when her house was sold she was kept informed every step of the way, but she wasn't so looney tunes then and in any vent it was in both our names as joint owners. I have quite a lot of money of my own so I don't need hers tyvm.
Due to the extreme stress over the years I've had a mini stroke, I have eczema on my hands, brown skin spots that flake off on my skin and my hair is falling out. Going low/no contact may just well save my life at this point.
I confess to a moment's tetchiness about it a couple of days ago. As part of a lengthy exercise to do with deciding next steps, I am insisting that mother pays proper attention to where she would like to live after we sell our house. And her first idea? "I need to talk to M_. He'll know what to do."
What flashed through my brain with white heat was "Darling wonderful M_ doesn't give a flying f*** where you decide to live for God's sake you daft old bag - !" This was unspoken, of course. Sadly it remains, while perhaps vividly expressed, largely true.
Having taken a deep breath, what I actually explained was that M_ could not possibly know what she, mother, would like best. He is not telepathic. It is therefore down to her to think carefully about it, and I will help her weigh up all the pros and cons.
But one word from him and she'd settle for a tent under a railway bridge. Sigh.
Yes it is frustrating isn't it???
I understand your hurt feelings for being ignored and my hurt feelings for being ignored. I have voiced my unhappiness and if you do the same I hope you have better luck than i did. No one gave a s@&t in my family. Good luck