A family member died last weekend and he was a big narcissist. How should I feel? I do feel sad they had a lot of health issues. His narcissist side really came out the last two years. I don’t know what to do or how to feel. They were the biggest narcissist you've ever met.
You owe this man no tears. He was a jerk with Mental problems. I had an Uncle like that. He weighed about 300#s and told my 12 yr old daughter she was fat. At 45, u do not mention his name around her.
There is no explanation for how we experience grief or relief with the death of a loved one. And sometimes it is a combination of both grief and relief. ( I just coined a new word..Grelief!)
Each of us will grieve in our own way in our own time.
If you feel nothing thats OK. You can't mourn for someone u were not close to. You can mourn you never were able to have a relationship but that was his fault, the narcissism made it hard to have a relationship. So, if you didn't cry a tear, thats OK.
So start there. You feel what you feel.
That's the beginning and the end of it.
Now on to rational THINKING which involves our evolved brain and our cerebral cortex. That is capable of saying "They did the best they could with their own limitations" or "I honestly can't say I am sad or sorry this person is gone; he/she was so difficult. But I do understand that he was dealing with his own limitations". Or "Some of us are nice and some of us aren't, and in all reality human beings can be real jerks" or or or or. You can work it out any way you like. Our rational thinking can help us deal with our feelings.
But as to changing FEELINGS, they come and go like weather systems. So just wait them out.
Then be grateful that you and everyone else won’t have to deal with him ever again.
You can also feel sad that they couldn't have been a more positive light in the world and hope that possibly they have shed all that negativity in the afterlife and are at peace.
What was your relationship with them?