My Mother has been an alcoholic for a really long time! She has beginning stages of dementia, and she is on dialysis for kidney issues. Due to her long alcohol abuse and health issues she can't quit cold turkey. Before this I looked into placing her in a nursing home. None would take her unless she had been in rehab or detox of some sort. Her insurance will only cover out patient rehab.
Mom's drinking was a factor in the divorce of my parents. At age 40, she was alone with two kids still home, didn't drive and hadn't worked a job outside the home since she was a teenager. She applied for and got a disability pension for her migraines, supposedly. After all these years, I wonder if she faked it because she rarely has had a headache since coming off disability and going onto her pension/ government assistance.
About a year and a half ago, she began falling and dropping things. Suspecting a neurological condition, I begged her to go to the doctor but she refused. I see now that even in the face of grave health concerns, spending time without alcohol in hospital was worse in her eyes than dealing with a dire sickness. I got her to go to the ER, the doc there says 'here's a walker so she won't fall'. The next day I went to check on her and found her on the floor so I called an ambulance. She had acidosis of the blood and the ER docs were asking about DNR orders and who's got power of attorney. She was sick enough to die! She didn't, but spent a week in hospital being taken off all meds and getting them back one by one. She was ok for a little while thereafter. But six months later, she's telling me she thinks she is depressed. Doctor gives her not one but two anti-depressants that she is not supposed to have alcohol with. She would drink 4-6 shots of whiskey a night, every night. Coupled with anti-depressants and narcotic pain relievers, she was dopey and unsteady on her feet. A year ago I had two heartfelt talks with her about my concerns, she insisted she was getting better. The first of this year I insisted she make an appointment with her doc. She tells me on a Wednesday that she made one for the next week. She didn't make it. The Thursday after she made the call she fell getting dressed and broke her hip.
Two months of hospital, rehab and a convalescent home and she was in the best shape I've seen her in years. As soon as she went home, the drinking began again in earnest. Her hip isn't healing well, the toll of the alcohol has leached calcium from her bones and they are as brittle as a 100 year old's. She got drunk, fell and bashed her head and broke her hand. I went to check on her at midnight that night because she had sent gibberish texts. She was trying to get a ring off a broken finger and didn't realize her face and hair were caked in blood from a gash on her forehead. Called an ambulance again. 5 days in hospital and then back to the booze at home. She's had many other falls during all this time and I would find her with cuts or bruises on her face or legs or arms but she laughs them off.
I picked her up two weeks ago for a physio appointment for the broken hand. The other hand was bandaged in a tensor wrap and quite visibly swollen. I said it looked serious and we should go to the ER but she refused, insisting it was just sprained. A week ago, I missed a text from her at 2:30 in the morning asking for help but my new phone wasn't configured for priority calls and texts. When I got up and saw I missed it, I called. She said she'd somehow fallen and couldn't get up. Guess she scooted herself to her bedroom and eventually got into bed. Two days after that, I showed up with groceries and she's dressed with shoes on and makeup done. She wanted to go to the ER to get her wrist checked. Well sure enough, 3 hours later it's confirmed as broken and a half cast is placed on it until she can see the surgeon the next day. Of course, I have to take her as she doesn't drive. We get there, and the surgeon is the same one who did her hip repair. He told her she has bad bones, they are in bad shape. He could put a pin and plate in her wrist but instead he wants to just push the bones together and cast the hand and arm. Mom says to me, this has to be the last broken bone. I think she is tired of the hassle of living day to day with pain and a walker and hands that don't work right but I don't think she is at the point where she will stop drinking, start eating better and take care of herself. I'm resigned to the fact that she will likely fall and do herself in and there is nothing I can do about it. Talking with doctors and social workers has yielded little in help. The laws in Ontario allow for her to live as she pleases if she is not hurting anyone else, even if she is hurting herself. Having her declared incompetent is expensive and not guaranteed to work as she has enough faculties I think they would just say she makes poor choices but she's an adult so let her.
Tired of having a ringside seat to this circus of hers....