My mother is in her early 80s and has no major health problems. She does not drive or have any friends and depends on me for about everything. ( my niece takes her to store now due to my own health concerns) She and my sister (who does nothing for my Mom) are always fighting and some how I get the blame for their shortcomings . After being told that the only thing she can be blamed for is my birth, I did not show up to take her to a dentist appointment ( cleaning) and told her from now on she must be nice to me if she expects me to be there for her. She hung up...three times How do I deal with her? I do not want to walk away but it is at the point where i feel i need to establish boundaries for my won health. It hurts to be the one who is always there for her and gets beat up in the process.
I'd just call her once a day to see if there's anything legitimate she needs assistance with. If not, do like your sister: "nothing." This might sound a bit cruel, but if she resorts to emotional blackmail just to bring you back into her "fold," imagine you're at the Lincoln Center playing a violin. After all, she's functional. But as long as she has servants catering to her every whim, there's no reason to be self-reliant.
I'm losing her already. After getting sick early this month (infected gallbaladder) and having surgery, she is down to 69 pounds and was transferred from the hospital to a rehab center to try and build up her weight and strength. I'm losing her though, inch by painful inch... and I simply cannot, will not blame her for a "destiny she created". I want to blame someone, but I CANNOT blame her.
I wish Christmas would just go away or I could just stick out my thumb, hit the road and run away from home right now.
But I won't. Because she's my best friend and I know she can't help it.
Blessings to all the caregivers. Today and every day.
But tomorrow is a new day. I've been depressed today -- it has been a crazy one, but had nothing to do with my mother. It was just one of those days. Hoping for a better tomorrow.