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My grandparents made me full durable power of attorney , medical and financial two years ago. My grandma had stage four cancer and wanted to do so while she was still mentally able. I cared for my grandma 90 percent of the time and I am also my grandpas caregiver through the Va. My grandparents both had wills leaving each other everything and making each other executor. My mom and her siblings helped when asked but not too far beyond. Toward the end of my grandmas illness she became very confused , had several episodes where she accused my grandpa of leaving her at strangers houses. She even started saying he was cheating on her. They were married 40 years and they were very in love. We knew it was the cancer that spread to her brain. She did have moments of clarity and would also go days where she was herself just in tremendous pain. My grandma started acting oddly toward me saying I was taking my grandpas side. I never took it to heart. I knew she was sick. Two weeks before her death her daughter convinced her to sign a handwritten note saying she was leaving my mom her entire estate. And my sister if mother could not. My mom and grandma always had a strained relationship to say the least. My grandpa now has to deal with asking my mothers permission to do anything with their community property. He wanted to give my daughter a sewing machine and my mother threw a fit saying she wanted her cut basically. How do I deal with her weekly saying my grandpa isn’t allowed to do this or that? He can’t sell anything or garage sale anything without her ok. That man took care of my grandma for 40 yrs. Retired three places. If he wants to sell something they bought or have a garage sale or give my daughter a sewing machine he should be able to. Louisiana is a whole other thing. Please help me. My mom is literally sucking my will to live. The greed is unbearable.

Your grandmother's estate/will needs to be probated. This is legally required. The court will determine whether the original will or the hand-written substitute governs. You and your grandfather should meet with an experienced Wills and Estates attorney to advise you on how to proceed. You could contact the attorney who did the original wills, if he/she is still practicing. The handwritten document is unlikely to hold up in court, but even if it does, you'll need assistance to determine which assets and items still belong to and are controlled by your grandfather and out of your mother's control. Also your grandfather will need to name a new executor. It sounds like a lot but lawyers and courts are used to cutting through this kind of confusion and if you don't do it now the complications will just get worse. I wish you well with this. It's generous of you to handle things for your grandparents.
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Reply to MG8522
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I feel you should move far away from these toxic family dynamics.

No one can cure a toxic and nefarious family. As long as you stay by them you will be victimized by them.

Take your savings in hand. Let them know the day you are leaving. I think that you should be at the least several hundreds of miles from them with a job and a life. You will then have opportunity to create for yourself the family you deserve.

There is really no cure for evil doers but to avoid them.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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A "handwritten note" will NOT hold up in a court of law.
Your grandma's original will should be upheld. PLEASE have your grandpa spend the money on a good lawyer to resolve this illegal matter.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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If you are your Grandpa's PoA then your Grandma's "handwritten note" while she was dying of cancer most likely holds no legal water. But the only way to know this is to hire a certified elder law attorney (CELA) to find out. It will be worth it.

Also, if your Grandpa still has legal cognitive capacity then no one can be telling him what to do now. Maybe take Grandpa with you to the meeting with the attorney, who is the one who will test him for legal capacity. He doesn't have to have perfect memory and cognition, even a little impairment is still acceptable. The attorney can send your relatives a warning letter to cease and desist if you are the one and only legal representative for your Grandpa, whether he has capacity or not.

Often a first consult with a CELA is free.
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Reply to Geaton777
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