Hello everyone, I never expected to be asking this question.
My mother and I are the primary caretakers of my grandmother (82). Earlier this year, she was admitted into a hospital and an outpatient rehab facility following a subdural hematoma. It should be mentioned that she was never a happy person and subsequently had a toxic personality her whole life.
Having lived independently prior to her admission into medical care, we tried to adjust and take her into our home, but everything had gotten worse as the negative personality traits became more and more pervasive in every day behavior (giving orders, screaming, nasty language). We tried to work around this, but with failing judgement and increasing aggression, things were getting more difficult.
Earlier this week, she had begun to strike both of us using fists and whatever objects were nearby after initially refusing to go to the store the very moment she had asked as we had breakfast. In trying to diffuse the situation and to prevent her leaving (she does not remember the way home), she had threatened to call the police and screamed that she was being tortured and dying in the hopes the neighbors would hear. Then she called up her case worker with claims of physical abuse from our end.
I cannot continue living like this, with sleep, appetite, and nerves being affected. I have been unable to find work because of COVID and the situation at home, as well as having substantial debt from recently graduating. What can I do in this situation? I don't want either of us to suffer at her hands anymore, but am unable to pay for long term care for her.
If she has been in this country for over 5 years, she should be able to receive Medicaid. If so, at this point I would also place her into a LTC facility with Medicaid paying.
Have you spoken to her doctor concerning these changes. There is medication that may help. If she doesn't have one, I would see a Neurogist.
A psych hold (or transfer to a psych unit) can find what meds are needed to help calm her down and tame the aggression. Even with meds though, you can't take her back.