It's out there, that big black cloud, just appearing on the horizon. That time of year.. whether it's Christmas or another tradition you celebrate that brings demands, expectations, families coming together, cooking, entertaining, good times or crushing stress.
Roll with it or roll into a ball?
Are you coping or crumbling?
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Says it well for me.
Happy New Year's Eve everyone!
Welcome Janualry 2022.
I will be pleased to see you - despite the uncertainty, new challenges & the coming heat
Must roll on.
For those who love the holidays I wish them the very merriest cheer of the day, or the most peaceful and joyful of celebrations of the birth of their Christ. For me I am down to I have 365 days, should I live so long, before the next round. My present is seeing those like you who give so much joy and great advice here the live long year.
I just couldn't resist the urge to secretly unwrap and then re-wrap presents with my name on them.
My 94.5 year old mother came out of her room and caught me. She can be stealthy with her walker. First time in 63 years.
Maybe I'll have better willpower next year....
I didn't have Turkey this year. I'm not a big fan.
My wife bought a Costco chicken,small ham, McCormak instant gravy, scalloped potatoes and a vegetable. My son and wife brought dessert, which came from Costco as well.
Everything came from Costco.
Christmas Eve Dinner: Steak, baked potatoes, fresh green salad with ranch dressing, Chocolate Satin Pie. I bought a pie because I was stressed.
Christmas Day: Christmas breakfast of eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast.
Finger sandwiches at parents ALF. Fresh fruit and cheese platter.
Thank you for starting this discussion Beatty. I used it focus and stay on track and not give into people pleasing.
Thanksgiving update. Last Sunday the hubs and I went to my parents ALF for Thanksgiving lunch. It was a warm lovely day with a light breeze we sat outside. Turkey and ham with all the fixings. Nice party music in the background.
My parents will come over for Thanksgiving lunch. Enchiladas on Friday!
1) Plan a small manageable Christmas dinner, no more than 4 or 5 people including you. The person you are caring for can’t cope with a bigger crowd, can’t hear the conversations, gets very tired. That’s probably true as well as a good excuse. Others can schedule a visit on Christmas eve or Boxing Day, or a phone call instead.
2)Work out food that’s easy, and dole out responsibility for particular things if you want to. ‘Gourmet’ icecream for desert, or microwave pudding works well. Doing this for my almost-end-of-life BIL, we did lots of little finger food savories that were small (so he could try a bite of several) and that didn’t need him to manage cutlery. Slice of ham wrapped around a stick of cucumber or asparagus, a little bit of turkey on a tiny biscuit with a dob of sauce on top, peeled prawns on a cocktail stick, that sort of thing. Easy to get ready in advance, easy to clean up, and everyone enjoyed it.
3)Forget the presents, or make a rule that they must cost less than $10. If anyone really wants to splurge, they do it separately so there are no comparisons.
4)Buy a very small artificial tree, and decorate it with just a few ‘family’ ornaments. No big tree to topple over, no buckets of water to carry, and nice memories that come up with the ornaments. I have a lovely little nativity set that comes out every year, good to prompt someone to sing a carol or two. You don't need much to make it special.
It’s a bit miserable to ignore Christmas (shades of post marriage breakup), but there’s no need to make it over-the-top. Love to all, Margaret
This year, I am going to try to not secretly unwrap and then re wrap presents with my name on them. I am tired of acting surprised when I open them in front of everyone.
Every gift he opened was "exactly what he wanted" from socks, underwear, to wrestling buddies. This was several decades ago and his perfect appreciation of every single gift made that a special, memorable Christmas for everyone there.
His exact words, "Wow, that's exactly what I wanted, Thank you!"
He only lived 21 years and he left more happy memories for his family than any other person I have ever known.
So give that big surprised thank you, even if you sneaked a peak.
Food? Fine if you love to cook, but how about ordering in a meal? I am actually looking forward to this lightened up Christmas this year.
Friends, church members, co-workers, almost everyone knows a family with young children that could use a bit of help.
If you want to, you can mail a gift card anonymously. Just make sure that you put a note that tells them it is a gift card and how much is on it. I found out someone I did this with thought it was a scam and threw it away. Ahhhh! That was a mess.
Bless you for thinking of others at this difficult time of the year.
The pandemic is still ongoing and I plan to use it as an "excuse" this year as well to not see them. I'm an introverted person and quite content to stay in. I know I won't be able to use it as an excuse in 2022 so I will savor this holiday season. As I get older, extended family celebrations aren't as meaningful anymore. And I don't get into the hype of Christmas shopping, Black Friday or massive consumerism. I'd just as soon skip November and December. Think about it. How much "stuff" do you need? I stopped exchanging gifts years ago. My adult children receive gift cards or cash. I don't know what they want. Gift cards and/or cash let's THEM decide. I don't have grandchildren. I don't need scarves, gloves, knick knacks, etc. In fact, I'm trying to get RID of that stuff so when I die, my children aren't burdened with 50 years of accumulated "stuff" that they will have to deal with (like I had to TWICE). I'd rather have a coffee gift card or a dinner certificate. Something to consume and not clutter. They would too. Win win.
I think this holiday season will be lost to COVID again. I hope next year life will go back to normal. My MIL makes the best roast turkey. I really miss her Thanksgiving and Christmas eve dinners.
I think I am going to do a few bonfires in the backyard just for our family. I love bonfires, looking at the flames has a calming effect on me.
Beatty, is your sister still at the same level of mobility as last year? Has she gotten herself a caregiver? Hopefully, this sister and others still remember that you want to be a guest and not an appointed caregiver at the holiday get together.
Of course there are more options than roll with it or roll into a ball.. Roll my own! (Roll my own way that is 😁!)
BE the change I want to be etc.
I am now working on reducing the rumination over past events. As a *list person* am sorting expectations & requests into 'do-able' or 'nope'.
Thank you Isthisreallyreal for the word *nonsense*. It is now my new word for the whole season.
Last year we didn't do trick or treat because of covid. That was a great point to stop it, and we won't be starting that up again. We didn't do Christmas stockings last year, and I'll be happy to not start that up again, either. (I would make an exception of we had young grandchildren, but we don't.)
With the shipping delays and projected shortages, this is a great year to buy less. And although covid is decreasing in many places, by the time the holidays are here we could be in the middle of a big surge again.
I'm sure mil would love for us to travel to the old homestead. Fortunately we stopped THAT many years ago when my oldest was around 2 y/o. She overdoes Christmas, and there is no way we're going to start going there now.
Bah humbug. LOL
We decided 20+ years ago to leave both our families have the holidays they wanted and we would go skiing.
Both our families wanted us every year and that was not possible. They live 9 hours apart and we owned a business that didn't leave us long vacations.
When they all ruined our 4 day weekend with their gripping and complaining that they didn't understand why we had to go visit others and only spend a couple hours with them, yada, yada, yada. We gave each of them our home address and said "you want our undivided attention, come visit us! Next year we are going skiing. If you feel like you have to buy us something, find a needy family and fill their pantry, that's what we will be doing."
Since then the holiday's have been true holidays for us and we get to enjoy what we love to do without getting our butts chewed.
The last year my dad was with us, we went to a state park and grilled hotdogs and baked beans for Christmas dinner. He loved it and told everyone what a great Christmas he had. No stress, warm fire and lots of laughter, the perfect menu.
Do what brings you joy and let the others have the nonsense.
This has not been the best year. Not by far, but I still like to count my blessings. I just figure that no matter how bad I’ve got it, it’s better than a lot of other folks.
Christmas Eve: Spent with husband and son only. Menu not decided.
Christmas Day: Dinner spent at ALF with parents. We might eat the meal provided or I might bring a sandwich tray and fixings, cookies, cheese ball and crackers/ small veggie platter. Music will be Mitch Miller and the Gang! The Christmas gifts will be nicely wrapped. I planned all of this during the dog days of summer when I was repairing my Christmas Lights. Thanksgiving and Christmas cards already addressed and stamped. I was so down this summer.
I thought long and hard about what I want and this is it. Invisible family members not included. If oldies get grumpy we change subject or leave.
Planning ahead can be helpful, so your post is appreciated.
I am living in October.
I am in the group with TNtechie and Tothill.
Not borrowing any trouble from tomorrow.
Hoping you can relax, and have some fun contemplating decorating, the meal, the guests, and the meaning of Christmas.