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Abuse is a deal breaker. Next time, call 911 and tell them he is behaving erratically and he needs to go to the ER.

Then you can have him checked for a UTI and or get him on anxiety meds to help his situation.

If he gets worse, you really might have to consider placement in a home. Best of luck to you.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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Sadly it can happen. If he starts threatening harm, then do consider calling 911 and requesting a 72 hour ER hold and geri psych assessment. It can be hot or miss to find calming medications.
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Reply to MACinCT
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No one deserves abuse, no matter the cause. Remove yourself from his presence every time it happens. Consider if he needs medication to calm his behavior. Mostly, consider if the whole situation is safe for you and if not, make plans for alternative living arrangements for one of you. Please protect yourself, verbal abuse is soul crushing and can escalate
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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More details would be helpful for context and to give you the best guidance.

You do not have to tolerate this type of treatment -- it's demeaning and scary and possibly will escalate as his dementia progresses.

You can discretely video him when he starts to become agitated and abusive. Then call 911 and see if they can take him in to see if they can do a 5150 hold on him and get him to take meds for his agitation.

You can then talk to the discharge planner and them them he is an unsafe discharge, that you don't feel safe in your own home due to his increasingly beligerant behavior. Then ask to talk to a hospital social worker to see what options there may be. This will differ widely by hospital, county and state so I can't tell you what will happen after this point.

Does your husband have an actual medical diagnosis of dementia?

Are you his PoA? If not, is anyone?

Do you have the combined funds to afford to place him in either AL or MC?

I wish you success in protecting yourself and finding appropriate care for your husband.
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Reply to Geaton777
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