My mother has battled depression and low self esteem her whole life. Overall, she did make a decent life for herself and was very career oriented. Since retirement and her illness, her depression never improved and/or got worse. Now she is in a nursing home, in a wheelchair, with a terminal illness.
I wish she would try the activities there or simply eat down the hall down with the other people. Being around other people or stimuli would be great for anyone. When she is lucid, she is really a lovely and bright person to talk to.
My question is: how much am I responsible for her choices? I've tried to kindly make suggestions and offer to go with her to activities/lunch but she refuses. She cries from being lonely and bored yet does not try anything new.
I understand depression is a vicious cycle but this makes me feel helpless. I know I cannot change anyone.
In order for your mother to find acceptance of her terminal illness, perhaps you can bring her some reading material that will be of help. I myself have found great comfort in reading stories about near death experiences; there is one in particular by a neurosurgeon named Eben Alexander called Proof of Heaven that is excellent. Here is a link if you'd like more info:
https://www.amazon.com/Proof-Heaven-Neurosurgeons-Journey-Afterlife/dp/1451695195
Have you gotten hospice involved yet? I do know that hospice has ministers who provide grief counseling and they can be quite helpful to the entire family. The nurses are particularly tuned in to helping patients find acceptance with the transition to the next phase of our eternal life.
Best of luck to you and your dear mom.