Diabetic father would rather die than have his leg amputated to save the family from trouble...but it's causing trouble! What can I do?

I had a neighbor whose feet turned what is called "black" (actually a horrible purply blue), due to an operation gone wrong. The doctors wanted to amputate his feet. My neighbor's wife, knowing her semi-conscious husband's wishes, said no. She rubbed castor oil on his feet several times a day. In 2 weeks, normal color started returning. In 2 more weeks, the feet were normal. My neighbor was able to save his feet, including his toes, through his wife's persistent rubbing of castor oil on them. He ended up walking into his doctors' offices on his now-healthy feet. Those doctors wanted nothing to do with him. They could not admit they were wrong.

Dear Zeta, as your father is deeply involved in alternative medicine, and his own business and his friends are all involved in it too, my guess is that there is a low chance of getting any mainstream medicine options dealt with reasonably. That is why his health has reached this point. All the normal advice will go nowhere, and will only frustrate you. Look after your heart, and just accept that he will go his own way.

Zeta you have been told everything I am going to say.
A diabetic with a bone infection in a foot is just waiting to die unless the amputation is performed and even then may not survive if septicemia sets in.
It sounds as though your father has now gone into serious heart failure which makes an operation impossible at this point and may kill him anyway.
Giving honey to a diabetic is putting a nail in their coffin.
Make sure his business associates know how seriously ill your father is so they don't ask him to make decisions at this time.
If you have been on your antidepressant medications for a while do not stop them at this point, they will not cloud your judgement as you are used to them. Eat light easy to digest meals and drink plenty of fluids bt go light on the caffeine if you can..
Hard as this may be do not take responsibility for your father's care either by providing a place for him to live or helping financially
He has made decisions that are not in his best interests but never the less he was and is entitled to make. There is nothing you or anyone else can do to change that.
I do think you should let your aunt alert the family so they can visit if they so desire.
Also have your aunt round up oter family members to clear out Dad's apartment. That's something you don't need to be worrying about.
If you think this would be appropriate arrange to have a minister visit your father if he agrees. Most hospitals have a chaplain on staff.
Remember this is not your problem. You did not create it so don't take on responsibilities that other people get paid for doing. Blessings

Gosh you have so much going on.i was in a similar situation 18mnths ago different medical issues than your father's but similar situation.i had no choice but to move him in with my self and my children and my husband.it was that or he would of died.i lost my living room as I turned it in to a bedroom.i lost any time I had for my self or my family .I gave up work.i spent the next couple of months changing doctors sorting pensions out.changing banks getting my dad in to a routine that suited us not him us.and he was to like it or lump it I had to take charge of his life and health I took all responsibility away from him.lets go forward to today..he has his life.he has a lovley flat that we found for him after nearly a year.he has his health we got him pip payments and I got carer's allowance which helps.hes turned his life around now after someone had to take charge my dad's 69 as well on his own divorced twenty years. You have to take control either way by taking charge and saying right were going to do this...or letting him do it on his own his way

Hello! I continually thank everyone who have given me support and advice. This will likely be my last update, for hopefully good reasons =D. I haven't updated since basically my first visit to him. I've since visited him twice.

My father was scheduled, shockingly to me, very quickly for heart surgery. I was also surprised that my father's sister had the money to come from the east coast to be with him for the surgery on such short notice. We visited him frequently but we also went to his house to assess and begin packing. I was really glad to have had direct and present family support for this.

Originally they were concerned that he was entering into the heart transplant level of heart failure, this is hear say from me but it sounded like that was at 25% heart function and he was getting down to 28% heart function. The edema medication they placed him on rouse his heart output to 38% so; they wanted to do triple bypass surgery on him but they determined that he most likely had a heparin allergy, medication I've never really knew about before! This medication allowed for the total chemical reversal of thinning of the blood after they're done with the surgery. Instead they postponed the surgery which, fortunately for me and my aunt, was the next day and not the day before she had to fly back out. Instead of open heart surgery they decided to go with stents, which they said was inappropriate for the level of blockage he had as well as him being a diabetic. The surgery went, as I put it, perfectly. They were able to do it all in one session; six stents, three on each side of his heart and two being fashioned into a single Y. He's feeling a lot better and sadly I had to leave an hour before they moved him into a rehabilitation center but my aunt got to spend another day with him.

This weekend my significant other and I went down to move all his stuff out of the house he was renting with his roommate. This lady was packing all of his things for him, even though my father suspects and has an ongoing police investigation where he's cited her as the suspect in the thief the the family heirlooms. We're there to move all his belongings but this lady has to go over everything about every box and tell me what the box is about all while the weekend is ticking away and the move out date is there. My s/o was losing his patience with her for wasting out time and finally told her that we may not be able to come back again next week to finish up. This set her off and they argued, I believe she legitimately thinks that I'm obligated to destroy my life because this is my father. She and him got into a fight where she kicked him out and then had the audacity to tell me how much "negative energy" he has just because he was speaking the logical truth about the situation. If it wasn't for him talking me down I would have just left back to our home fortunately he said he wasn't here to waste our time, lol... Anyway, we moved pretty much everything except his furniture and a box or two of his supplements and misc items, into his new 10x10 storage.

The plan now is that we will hire movers to move the furniture and whatever boxes are left into another storage unit for a month or two before he and his business partner ultimately move the contents of the storage further south to where his support group is. I'm really hoping I've managed to save him hundreds of dollars by not having to hire people to pack and move all of his things on an hour rate.

And finally the bonus personal share. Every day I've been down there I felt I've needed a stiff drink to unwind at the end of the day. That luxury wasn't provided to me on any of the days on my second visit but this time my s/o and I were able to goto the Ballast Point Brewery for a much needed break and it was spectacular. The following night we went to another place that had the best margaritas I think I ever had.

Thank you all for listening, advising and commenting. This has been really helpful for me ♥!

Yay, glad to hear this, Zeta!