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How much is too much food? What meals can help with incontinence?

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At 95, let her eat what she wants, unless there is a medical reason. If she wants ice cream for breakfast, ask her if she wants one scoop or two :)
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Diuretics make you pee more. If she's on any diuretic for medical reasons, she needs to stay on it. FYI, caffeine is a diuretic.
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With a Dementia nothing you eat helps with incontinence. Her brain no longer tells the body to "hold" it. Just take MIL to the toilet ever 2 hours. Don't rush her. She may no longer to remember how to go.

Unless she has health problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, acid reflux, etc. She can eat what she wants. At 95 I doubt if she is eating much. No longer being active they don't need a lot of calories. I gave my Mom what she always enjoyed. Breakfast was cereal and toast nd something to drink. (No coffee or apple juice it caused problems) Lunch was a sandwich or a bowl of homemade soup and crackers. Dinner was whatever I made. A snack here and there of things I knew she liked.
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