My mother has started dementia and we had her in her first assisted living and she complained the whole time she's been there saying she's gotta get out of there. She denies she has any problems. They are saying she is a flight risk, is confused a lot, and talks to everyone there about how she hates it and is stranded. I believe everyone will find her difficult anywhere she goes. What do you do if this is the case? Can you keep getting kicked out? I would think if she's disruptive to others, they can get rid of her - even in memory care.
Check out the facilities in your area. I'm sure you will come up with some interesting ones to visit.
Good luck
There are medications that can be prescribed for the anxiety.
Once in the proper environment with staff that can help redirect her I think she would be safer
In Memory Care, residents are not expected to automatically show up for meals. They may not be able to chew, so the food is cut up small for them. They are not given knives in case they harm themselves by accident. It is assumed that they cannot remember to take medication. The floor is locked down and floors very clean as they could have a resident who tries to leave on their own or will pick up items from the floor and eat them. Some residents are completely incontinent, and many are bedridden due to the brain and muscles not communicating correctly. Many do not speak and just wander the halls, potentially following other people into other people's rooms (they lack judgement about personal space).
So if your Mom is in memory care, expect her to talk to everyone about how she hates it. This is normal and the nurses and caregivers expect it. Some of the residents have been placed there without their consent. And yes, most of them are difficult in some way, but not necessarily the same way.
However, before a person is placed in Memory Care, like Assisted Living, a nurse evaluates them to see if they would be a fit for the facility. I suspect they also evaluate the family who is placing them there too.
So, it is possible that your Mom will NOT be kicked out of everywhere she is accepted. You might have to tour a few facilities (preferably not with Mom) to get the one that aligns with the expectations of yourself and your Mom. Think future. Once you move her into MC, you really don't want to find another place for her later down the road, when she loses the ability to walk, or stand, speak, or any of the other possibilities that go along with loss of memory.
My Mom doesn't think she belongs in Memory Care. She also complains she doesn't have any friends. This is true. She has no friends in Memory Care as she is unable to hold a meaningful conversation with anyone. Yes, she belongs in Memory Care, because I can no longer take care of her 24 x 7. I visit her nearly everyday so that she doesn't feel like I've dumped her (and also so that I can provide some of the food that she likes to eat that they would not be able to serve on the Memory Care floor.)
Memory care often has seniors with these problems but AL doesn't and it isn't fair to subject other residents to someone thusly troubled.
All Assisted Living Facilities can ask a resident to leave if they are disruptive and problematic. Everyone needs to feel safe and secure in a residential care environment, so if one resident is going to wreak havoc, then yes, they will be asked to leave. This is why your mother needs to see her doctor for an exam and calming meds to be determined. SHE deserves to feel more relaxed and calm also; nobody should have to feel 'stranded' and be complaining to others about needing to 'get out of there'......that's a sign of agitation and anxiety which can be treated with medication. Good staff should also have tricks to deal with residents who display such behavior, but again, they would be found in Memory Care vs. regular Assisted Living facilities.
Your goal is to get mom into the right care environment, and to see that she herself is calm and more relaxed in general. Dementia is a terrible condition for her to deal with, I know, my mother suffered with it for years. Anosognosia is the term for when a dementia sufferer does not realize they have the condition, and/or refuses to acknowledge a problem exists. My mother suffered from that too.........even with advanced dementia at play, she'd call the other resident 'stupid idiots' when SHE in fact was acting out worse than THEY were! It goes with the territory, unfortunately.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet ( a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Best of luck getting mom medicated and placed into a Memory Care AL that she's better suited to.