I took my mother to the doctor yesterday. All her labs came back normal. It showed her COPD and some hardening of the Arteries, everything else was good for her age of 91. He cannot understand why she is sleeping 23 hours a day, he said it was not her medication. He also said she should be walking more. When I am not in the room my mom seems to walk, wobbly, but without help. But, when I am in the room she needs help, sometimes I have to use the wheel chair she is so weak. Or is my mother playing me for the sympathy or pity. I do everything for her, I am there 24/7. Maybe it is just plain depression.
Have a look at Teepa Snow's dementia care information (many videos online), specifically Pearl Stage & see if this helps you.
My LO has many naps during the day. I suspect a combination of factors;
- drop in O2 levels, due to lung disease & slouched posture
- less nutrients to the brain, due to hardened arteries/small vessel disease
- lack of stimulus, hearing/eyesight problems
It is what it is. This is life too. Just slower & simpler.
I remember when my folks were in their 90's, they use to brag that they needed only 6 hours of sleep at night..... they totally forgot to add the nap taken right after breakfast..... taken right after lunch.... before dinner and after then 7pm evening news. They would be dozing off while watching a movie.
Also with poor eyesight, both had MD, reading was difficult, so was watching TV. Both had hearing issues, so following a story line was hard. Dad use to love fixing things around the house, but eyesight and balance made it very hard. Thus, when boredom set in, napping was a good 2nd choice.
My parents' friends have either moved or passed on, so did siblings. My folks could no longer hop in the car to eat out, go to a movie, or do shopping. Their world had become so very tiny.
Since your Mom has COPD, there would be a lot of coughing. Coughing is so extremely exhausting. I doubt at 91 your Mom is playing you for sympathy.
My Husband went from 12 hours of sleep and a couple of months before he died he was sleeping 23 hours a day.
The only problem with sleeping that much is that she should be changing her position at least every 2 hours. I would get my Husband up and get him to the bathroom to change him or at least check him every 2 hours. If he was not wet I would sit him at the table and give him a snack. Often changing the position like that, getting up or even sitting him up he would void and I would then change him.
Sleeping is common.
If mom is not on Hospice you might want to give them a call. You will get a lot of help and all the Supplies, equipment and medications you need.
With Hospice you can request a Volunteer that could stay with mom if you have to go out.
DO not pick mom up if she falls.
Most areas a non emergency call or even 911 call and ask for a "LIFT ASSIST" the paramedics will come and lift the person off the floor and place them where they need to be either bed or chair. Generally if there is no transport to the hospital there is no charge. They are trained to help someone up. If you or your brother try and you injure mom or yourselves who will take care of you? Will you also take care of your brother if he hurts himself?
My mother died of heart disease and advanced dementia on February 22nd. Up until one week before she passed, she was acting pretty normal; not sleeping all day, eating, albeit less than normal, interacting with her cronies in the Memory Care ALF where she lived, yuckking it up, etc. Then one day she went to bed and went into a semi comatose condition, and didn't wake up again, passing away one week later. Her labs looked great the entire time. Advanced dementia did her in anyway, after 6 long years of fighting vascular dementia and all the ugliness it brought with it. Fortunately, I'd brought hospice in a couple of months earlier & they were able to keep her comfortable the entire time.
Call your mother's doctor and ask for a hospice evaluation for her, which s/he should have suggested long ago. Hospice will offer you some great support and services for her and they will NOT suggest 'she walk more', which is absolutely ludicrous at this stage of her disease, the poor soul. Hospice will bring in a hospital bed, a CNA to bathe her twice a week, and all sorts of other useful and helpful services for you and your mom.
From the Alz.org website:
Late-stage Alzheimer's (severe)
In the final stage of the disease, dementia symptoms are severe. Individuals lose the ability to respond to their environment, to carry on a conversation and, eventually, to control movement. They may still say words or phrases, but communicating pain becomes difficult. As memory and cognitive skills continue to worsen, significant personality changes may take place and individuals need extensive care.
At this stage, individuals may:
Help at any stage
Require around-the-clock assistance with daily personal care.
Lose awareness of recent experiences as well as of their surroundings.
Experience changes in physical abilities, including walking, sitting and, eventually, swallowing
Have difficulty communicating.
Become vulnerable to infections, especially pneumonia.
The person living with Alzheimer’s may not be able to initiate engagement as much during the late stage, but he or she can still benefit from interaction in ways that are appropriate, like listening to relaxing music or receiving reassurance through gentle touch. During this stage, caregivers may want to use support services, such as hospice care, which focus on providing comfort and dignity at the end of life. Hospice can be of great benefit to people in the final stages of Alzheimer’s and other dementias and their families.
https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/stages
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.