I am 53. I have lived my whole life with a brain injury, brain aneurysm, hydrocephalus, and epilepsy. My parents'(80, 79 n' 72) have accused me for years of being argumentative, antagonistic, and negative when I wouldn't do things the way they wanted. I think I have a right to do things differently.
You do have a number of problems that may effect the way you think. My grandson is 26 and was diagnosed with epilepsy at 19. His life has been put on hold. He can work but doesn't drive. His epilepsy is in the Memory/speech part part of his brain. So he has memory loss before and after a seizure. He also suffers from ADD and can't medicate for it because if the seizure meds. He gets it 3 ways. Me, his Mom who is an RN and Aunt he lives with. And when we 3 talk to each other we find we have all told him the same thing and he has forgotten what we said or chose not to follow up and makes things worse for him in the long run. He is scheduled for brain surgery to hopefully cut out the damaged part of his brain. If all goes well, then he can go back on his ADD meds. Once he recovers, hopefully he can get back to work and eventually be able to drive again. For now, we are all doing what we can to get him thru all this.
My health is a big issue. Because, It is so misunderstood. In terms of living with others, I don't have a problem living with others(my mother presently). They have a problem with me. I am not acceptable. Because I don't things the way others do. Following my (ex)wife n' I initially separating. I lived in a house that had multiple leases on the property. In violation of the zoning laws. Also, The owner tried to blame me for a fire on the property. Which was caused by someone else.
I do have a friend in California(I am in North Carolina). I have told her about my chronic health. She is accepting of me. She has diabetes and is diagnosed with bipolar(II) disorder.
Independence is subjective. I don't want to live with someone like my (ex)wife.
Why is your mother living with you, considering your health issues? What kind of care does she require?