I've noticed that I tend to get angry quickly or have less patience with my mom. She constantly asks for help with minor things that she can solve on her own. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago. But she continually compares anything I do to him. I guess as a gauge for the way things should be done. All of this is affecting my decisions with my own life. Plus, I'm feeling quite guilty when I leave the house. Please help.
It is only natural to feel some of both while trying to help a parent. It sure isn't easy. Just know you are doing the best you can. Talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. Otherwise without more communication and boundaries, the anger and resentment will be overwhelming. Maybe consider hiring a caregiver part-time just to give yourself some much needed respite.
You could say, "Mom, I know Dad did it that way, but it's easier (or cheaper, or takes less time, etc.) for me to do it this way."
Gotta' set some boundaries with Mom.
Get the book "Boundaries". You'll go crazy if you don't. 😜